The important facts:

1. Distracted driving (talking on the phone with or without a hands free device, texting, emailing, etc.) has been proven responsible for tens of thousands of deaths and countless (someone has probably counted) injuries.
2. Prohibitive legislation is a good thing, but not a solution. Drivers still speed, fail to wear seatbelts and refuse to use a turn signal. Drivers will not stop using mobile devices while driving.
3. People drive a whole lot.
4. Driving is exceptionally boring…most of the time.
5. When bored, people welcome and/or seek out distractions.

Fact #3 leads us to the solution. Reducing the amount of driving people do will inarguably reduce the amount of distracted driving people do.

But we all still need to get places. So if we can’t cut back on the mileage, how about taking the driver out of the picture. No one is throwing a fit about distracted passengering.

Technologically, an automated automobile is not the least bit far-fetched. In fact, they already exist and can handle terrain far more complicated than a highway. With significant, but not unreasonable, investment, our roadways could be converted to virtual tracks which would make vehicle automation a breeze.

The results of such a revolution are so profound that its nearly unfathomable that this isn’t already in the works:

• No longer responsible for driving, distracted driving would be a non-issue. Passengers can text, email, browse the web, watch movies, play games or even…
• Eat and sleep! Taking a trip half way across the country? Pack a breakfast and hit the road after dinner. Watch a movie and pass out for the night. Wake up, watch the sunrise, eat breakfast and you’re there! No falling asleep at the wheel. No aches and pains from 15 hours of sitting in the driver’s seat.
• Had a few too many drinks? So what?
• Massive decrease in shipping costs with a simultaneous increase in shipping speeds. No need to pay a driver to sit on his butt all day and no need for the driverless truck to stop for sleep.
• No need for traffic police.
• No more user-error accidents, meaning probably at least a 99% decrease in all accidents.
• Higher speeds on open roads.
• No congestion resulting from accidents or people sucking at merging.
• City traffic could move far faster as cars could travel more tightly packed and start and stop simultaneously, rather than the current one after another routine.
• More money will be invested in creating a richer riding experience (comfy seats/beds, refrigerator, nice surround sound) and less will be spent on silly aesthetics (giant spoilers, ground effects, incorrectly colored tail lights).
• Construction zones/lanes could be closed off virtually (no more hours spent putting out cones) and closed only when the area is literally under construction.
• Driverless taxis would be cheap and would probably quickly become the staple of those not wanting to own their own car. And you wouldn’t have to tip. 
• With no need for a driver’s license, no one would ever have to wait in line at the DMV. And on that note, those previously unable to drive on their own — particularly disabled persons and children — would be liberated from that dependence on others.

I could go on and on and on…

Who’s with me?

…especially when two minutes of work and a postage stamp brings in an $8,000 credit.

Time to go buy house stuff.

Last night PBS aired a new episode of Blueprint America entitled Road to the Future. I’d caught a promo for the show a few days earlier and thought I’d like to check it out as Portland was one of the cities featured in regards to it’s transportation infrastructure.

So I looked it up online this morning and skipped right ahead to the Portland segment where much to my surprise, I saw myself riding my new 36″ unicycle through downtown. Super fun.

Watch Online (I’m just a minute or so into the segment on Portland)

It’s been about two months since I signed up for Reach the Beach, a 103 mile ride from Portland to the coast, which I’ll be completing on unicycle along with three other bastards. Among commutes to work, random errands and longer recreational rides, I’ve traveled just over 400 miles on my new Nimbus Nightrider Pro 36 ISIS. And all that “training” is really paying off. I’ve increased my comfortable cruising speed to about 13 mph (pretty fast for uni) and given my groin plenty of fair warning of the saddle soreness to come.

As of Monday I’m officially tapering (riding my bike to work) so all that’s left to do is wake up really early on Saturday, jump on my uni and turn the pedals 57,733 times.

Traded in this:

and one of these:

plus some $$,

for this:

Good deal if you ask me.

It’s been a couple years. Time for another tour of Utah.

If you need to find Anna or I next week, this might help a bit. If you’re still looking for us two weeks from now, this will probably help a lot.

(Click image for full size)

Watched Quantum of Solace, the latest James Bond movie, this morning. Two minutes into the film, a car chase sequence nearly had me walking out of the theatre (our basement). 

High speed car chases along mountainous cliffs featuring fancy BMW’s and lots of guns are pretty exciting for most of us. I can’t even remember the last time I fired a weapon from a moving vehicle, let alone a sub-machine gun from a sports car. So when a director decides to include such a scene, I can understand why. What I can’t understand is what might compel that director to present that scene in a series of rapid clips, each lasting no longer than two seconds and most spanning only a small fraction of one second. That’s supposed to be reserved for trailers as they have only two minutes to sell the movie.

Our brains are not wired for connecting events across angle changes because our heads don’t move like that; especially not at that pace. If one split-second shot shows Bond driving really fast and the next tenth of a second shows a car crash, I might legitimately assume that Bond had just crashed. But when the next three angles, spanning all of one second, show Bond still driving, a car flipping off a ledge and someone getting shot, I’m left wondering what car crashed two seconds ago. 

That was pretty much the high point of the film. The rest of it sucked in the way that season 7 of 24 is sucking. Office politics and legal difficulties are not action.

Is it just me or is everyone else also seeing web ads on nearly every site, featuring the before and after photos — widely known to be falsified — of people having lost some large number of pounds in an astonishingly small number of weeks?

I guess it is good to know that should I ever need to shed some extra weight, there’s no need for diet or exercise. Rather, I simply have to follow three easy steps.

Arto Inkala, a Finish mathematician, claims to have created the world’s current most difficult Sudoku puzzle (link includes the puzzle if you’d like to try). He even went so far as to name his puzzle ‘Al Escargot’. What a nerd.

This guy spent three months creating it. I spent 30 seconds solving it. 

Well to be fair, I spent about a minute inputting it to this program I wrote to solve it for me. The program solved it in about 30 seconds.

I bought a Voodoo Wazoo cross bike. It’s shiny, fast and as proven on its first off-road ride up at Scappoose yesterday, durable. And it has two fully functioning brakes; which I’ve recently learned is a good thing to have on a bike.

Went out for another ride this morning on Mt. Tabor. There are a lot of people who see me and others mountain unicycling and react as if we’re borderline suicidal. Having gotten back into mountain biking, I have to say that its way scarier and potentially far more dangerous, especially on a cross bike. Super fun though.

In the past few weeks, frequent ‘training’ rides up and, more importantly, down Mt. Tabor lead me to purchase a set of Magura hydraulic rim brakes. In addition to the added functionality, the contrasting colors look pretty sharp. Unfortunately, pretty much everyone is sporting the exact same look.

My wheel can now cease rotation at an instant. Unfortunately, my momentum will still be adhering to our universe’s inherent physics.

Three years ago I rode 23 miles on my unicycle to celebrate my 23rd birthday. The next year I traveled 31 miles on that same unicycle hauling a 30 lbs pack through Wisconsin’s hilly moraines, enduring miserably cold wind and rain. Only a few months ago I doubled that distance with a metric century West of Portland. That latest ride nearly did me in.

With all that in mind, I’m taking on the longest leg of the American Lung Association’s (ALA) Reach the Beach ride. In about three months I will be waking very early on a Saturday morning and setting out to achieve this personal best. With a maximum speed of ~15 mph but an average sustainable speed below 10 mph, the 100 mile ride from Portland to the coast will last an anxiety-inducing 11+ hours — which will be just fast enough to finish before the course is closed. But unlike many of the challenges I put upon myself, this one actually provides an answer to the inevitable, “Why?”. This ride raises funds for the ALA which fights lung disease through education, community service, advocacy and research. 

I’m putting up some cash as well as days of assured pain. But I can’t do the ride if I don’t raise a bit more money. If you have a couple minutes and a few bucks to spare, check out my donation page which makes contributing a snap. 

If you choose to donate $10 or more, I’ll tell all my friends how great you are.

Thanks!

-Jack

Spinning out on sloppy climbs. Skidding sideways across icy bridges. Popping over fallen trees. Nearly sliding off of ledges. 

Most know that I’m a huge proponent of the one-wheeled movement. But after a night of flying through forest park amidst a dusty snowfall, never seeing more than the next 20 feet of the trail, I’m so glad I still have my mountain bike.

Generally the most attractive of words. Wouldn’t you agree?

Taking advantage of surprisingly low gas prices, Anna and I, along with our short-term-roommate/long-term-friend Megan journeyed South for the holiday. Destinations included:

• Sea Lion Caves – Florence, OR
• Yosemite National Park – CA
• Death Valley National Park – CA
• Las Vegas, NV
• Grand Canyon National Park – AZ
• Florence, AZ – Winter home of Anna’s grandparents
• San Francisco, CA

Though my third visit to Vegas, this was the first when I took the time to see the typical sights and do a bit of gambling. After about twenty minutes at a penny slot (I don’t have what it takes to risk big money), a single bet of $2.40 won me nearly as much as we all spent on the entire trip combined. Certainly a highlight of the trip.

I took tons of photos and have uploaded many of them. Instead of trying to stick them all in here, just check out my flickr set by clicking the photo below.

Among the favorites  of our many generous gifts received this Christmas is the slick new griddle from Jeff and Molly.

When it comes to breakfast, upgrading from an old fry pan to this griddle is like connecting a second monitor to a computer. There is just so much space to work with…and everything glides effortlessly from one side to the other.

Gratuitous breakfast photos:

Its snowing in Portland. We’ve got about an inch already. Just glanced out the window and saw this:

He’s not alone. There are two other neighbors just on our block putting on chains right now. Its one inch! I took my driver’s license test in about a foot of fresh powder.

On the other hand, minor accidents have already managed to shut down a lot of the interstates and highways in the area. I don’t get it. People are obviously aware that snow is slippery because they put chains on. But at the same time, no one considers the option of slowing down a bit or generally exercising a little extra caution.

Haven’t added anything here in over a month. Not sure why. Plenty of stuff has been happening.

A friend from WI has moved to Portland and is living with us until she can get settled into a job and place of her own.

I received a number of prizes having taken 1st place in the unicycle division of the Cross Crusade cyclocross series. Among my prizes was a brand new unicycle with a monstrous 4¼” tire. I also achieved the honor/disgrace of being ranked as the nation’s top sandbagger on CrossResults.com having placed 1st in every race while not having the option of upgrading to a more difficult division.

Cyclocross Magazine contacted me for an interview which will be included in their next issue.

A pleasant night spent camping outside of REI proved well worth the time as I acquired a number of bike upgrades, a jacket for myself, a rain jacket for our new roommate and awesome cycling shoes for Anna (of which I’m very jealous because they did not have them in my size). All for about $50.

We went to Washington D.C. for Thanksgiving. Lots of good friends, food, museums, etc. I’ll try to put up some pictures eventually.

Some other stuff probably happened but I’m bored of this for now. More to come.

If you haven’t gotten yours you better hurry and join the reactionary hordes. Unless of course, you already have means of defending yourself from the black president elect who will be personally coming to your home to rob you of your consitutional rights and recite passages from the Koran. 

Cuz thats what hes gonna do. Get ‘er done. Dale Earnhardt is the greatest athlete ever…except for our savior, Jesus Christ.

…with one simple, common-sense-rooted idea after another. Or at least I like to think so.

So here’s my latest:

Take a few philosophy courses and sooner or later you’ll reach the discussion of good vs. evil; more specifically, a discussion of how these polarizing categories are defined. If you subscribe to any of the major religions du jour, you might believe that these definitions are handed down from above. But when it comes to practical applications, such morality has little influence on modern systems of justice. In fact, the relationship is quite the inverse.

With all that is known of our universe, there is nothing to suggest that certain human activities are naturally right or wrong. But in the era of civilization, a society without law does not persist. A simple example is theft. Most (if not all) civilizations have reached the conclusion that failure to discourage this act is detrimental to the whole. And so, punishments are enacted.

Looking specifically at our own system, a common repercussion of lesser crimes is for the guilty party to offset the burden they’ve put on society with a financial contribution to public funds (a fine). This makes a lot of sense. Since it is impossible to prevent a majority of crimes, we instead lay down policy in which everyone is free to do what they want, knowing that actions which are deemed harmful to society come with costs/consequences.

Tobacco is a great example. We don’t refer to it as criminalized but rather strongly regulated. But really, the difference is only in how we all look upon the perpetrators. We put an enormous tax on tobacco, which aids in dealing with the even larger burden that is the health consequences of tobacco. Interestingly, this is actually a more effective system than criminalization because people get away with plenty of crimes, but it’s relatively rare that someone manages to buy tobacco without paying the tax. This point carries strongly into the legalization of marijuana debate but I’m not going down that road today.

Where am I going with all of this? Fast food, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, etc.

Tobacco has been shoved to the back burner of public interest as obesity is sky rocketing. The societal effects of the two are parallel in that the habits of some inflate health care costs for all. So why is it that we treat the issues so differently? Simply because the issue hasn’t been prevalent long enough for the masses to conclude that the damage to the whole outweighs the value of our constitutional rights as individuals. But it clearly does.

What’s my simple idea? Tax unhealthy restaurant food. There is plenty of available knowledge regarding nutrition to provide objective categorization of menu items that are sufficiently unhealthy to warrant a tax.

Consequences of this tax:

• Customers will choose healthier menu items because they will cost less.
• Restaurants will need to improve the nutrition of their foods because the untaxed items will sell better.
• The choice to eat unhealthy items will still be available but will come with an added cost which is used to offset the health care costs of that choice.
• The added tax will only be applied to those who are directly involved — either as customers or providers – in the aspects of the industry which are deemed harmful.

Who will oppose this most? The restaurant owners. They will reasonably claim that their industry is being over regulated and their liberties are being denied. But as I laid out above, this is how we, and most other societies, have been operating for millennia. It is unfortunate that an industry must suffer but that industry is doing a disservice to us all.

This plan is a sort of top-down solution. Next I’ll present the details of a bottom-up approach which places greater responsibility on the individual and could work well alone or in tandem with this top-down plan. Check back later.

It may have been yesterday’s ride or simply a greater performance on the part of my competitors — likely a combination of the two — but today’s win did not come easy. Holding third place for the first 1/3rd of the race was a new experience, but did provide my first opportunity to enjoy the thrill of catching another rider. The middle third — a flat and paved section of unusual length — had me trading the lead back and forth with relative newcomer Jim Ryan (52). As it became apparent that a win was not assured, I took note that this worthy competitor was giving me a run for my money on a 26″ wheel; 3″ smaller than my unicycle!

Fortunately the last third of the race became significantly more technical, mostly due to deep, slick mud, and I was able to pull away and add another victory to my record. 

Despite plenty of lengthy bike rides in the past year, my previous record for distance covered by human-powered transport was set on unicycle (50 miles). Amidst today’s continual drizzle and accompanied by another bastard, formally known as Max Taint, I surpassed that record by completing the Oregon Randonneur’s Verboort Sausage Populaire Metric Century (100 km/~62 mi) in Forest Grove. Again, accomplished on unicycle.

Lately my body has been very cooperative during feats of endurance but today was an exception. It would seem that my post-marathon laziness has allowed my muscles to atrophy and as a result, the ride was incredibly more difficult than expected. My back ached, my legs whined and my spirits dwindled. 

However, we still managed a very respectable pace, completing the 100 km in 5 hours 42 minutes; ahead of a number of bicyclists.

The ride’s namesake comes from the Verboort Sausage Festival that marks the finish line where hundreds of rural Oregonian’s gather to consume highly overpriced, traditional sausage dinners as part of a fund raiser for some church. The sausage was surprisingly refreshing and provided much needed calories for the extra 3 miles back to the car.

Though only a few miles outside of the city, this glimpse into the culture of the surrounding towns was a big reminder of Portland’s bubble of isolation. Dialect, manner of dress and even walking style were all distinctively un-Portland. And for every child who was understandably enthralled by our enormous unicycles, there were five or six adults who honestly appeared offended by our choice to do something beyond the norm.

I always find it interesting that nothing more than my presence can actually have a negative impact on someone’s day. On the upside, in a less close-minded environment, a unicycle ride can be extremely uplifting as it draws smiles and laughter from a majority of on-lookers.

4 for 4.

There are a whole lot of photo galleries from these races so to ensure that people pay attention to me as much as is possible, I’m hunting down specific photos for you. Here are the links:

pdxcross.com – You’ll have to navigate to photo #12 to see me doing a bit of pre-race trials. So far they only have the slidehow for Saturday’s race up. I’ll update when Sunday’s is posted.

Froggie – Sunday’s race start - This was Sunday’s Halloween race so in the following images you can sort of make out the continual deterioration of my costume (I went as a bicyclist) which was made from bamboo and did not fare well off jumps or over hurdles.

OregonVelo.com – 1 2 3 <-This last one was a great jump but upon landing, my costume found its way into my spokes and was shredded. I did manage to rip the tangled mess off without dismounting, casting it aside amidst plenty of cheers from the crowd.

PJ Bentson - Another Good Jump

I added some of my own photos to my CrossCrusade set on Flickr.

I’ve got my fair share of tricks with juggling balls and clubs so I thought I’d try something new: insurance providers.

Just a few months ago I had to switch from Group Health because after living in Oregon for six+ months (having changed my address on file with Group Health right when we moved) I was informed that they don’t provide any coverage here. I picked up Kaiser Permanente for a short time but it turned out they were evil. Their evilness even managed to get worse before I was able to cancel which could only be accomplished by MAILING A LETTER?!

So now I’m on to Regence Blue Cross Blue Shield (seriously, a blue cross and a blue shield?) who offers a lower rate, better customer service and communications systems that aren’t pre-Internet.

But, having received a tip from sister Jennie, I may be moving right along to Life Wise Health Plan of Oregon — but have yet to really look into it. After only a glance, their benefits-premium ratios look relatively great.

Then there is that big blue metal thing sitting out front. Granted, I’ve put a few more miles on in the last couple months (maybe 50/week) with trips to and from marathon(s) and CycloCross races, but on top of the high cost of gas — though I’m sure we’ve all noticed the recent price drop; which of course means that there really isn’t an oil problem and we should all vote republican — Geico has been charging me about $3/day.

Well not anymore. Getting sucked in by Progressive’s “Pay as You Drive” advertisement — which as it turns out is not a mileage based plan and would be more accurately entitled “Pay for How You Drive” — I found that I can and will save nearly $1/day through them. And if it turns out that I am eligible for the Pay as You Drive program, they’ll have me plug a recording device into my car that should eventually lead to a further reduction of my premium.

At the moment, I’m not particularly angry with my insurance situation. Alright!

I win again!

This much longer, but technically less difficult, course was too much fun. Despite being almost twice as long as last week’s race, I still managed to not get lapped by the bikers — meaning that I ran the loop at least half as fast as the fastest biker.

Present at this race was the recently assembled Surly Conundrum unicycle; an extra wide frame providing room for the 4″ Large Marge tire. With it’s giant footprint and super low pressure, stunts like those seen below were inevitable. I’m the unfortunate one in red who took the brunt of this failed attempt (photo by Shawn McBride).

There are some very capable photographers on site for these races so instead of including my mediocre shots, here are some links. Definitely click on them:

Photos by Pat Bentson

PDXCross.com - Be sure to check out images 1,3 and 4 (navigate using the the arrows at the lower left corner of the image)

If you think highly of your bicycle, don’t go to the Oregon Manifest. My bike was pretty cool. Now it’s boring and lame.

A few photos…

Cross-specific unicycle frame. Made by Jon Seiber of Cascadia Bicycles and generously donated to the Unicycle Bastards.

Wooden bike frame by Renovo Bicycle. They are as expensive as you might expect.

Carbon fiber saddle – just one extremely pricey component of this fully equipped road bike that weighed 12 lbs. When your two water bottle cages cost over $100 and save 20 grams of weight, you’ve gone too far.

Despite appearances, this monster of a mountain bike by Jeff Jones is incredibly light weight, having all suspension refactored into the frame design. This was just one of the many I wanted to take for a test-spin…and never return.

Wooden wheels by Wheel Fanatyk. I saw it, but I’ll believe it when I ride it.

Among the many highlights of the event was the free valet parking for bikes (and unicycles), nicely complimented by a complete lack of nearby vehicle parking.

CrossCrusade is in full force and is the place to be each weekend for the next month. Due to post-Portland-Marathon fatigue, I only had the pleasure of spectating at the first race at Alpenrose Dairy. But, one week later I arrived at race #2 ready to dominate.

And that’s pretty much what I did. Much of the course was brutally technical; far more so than I had anticipated. As is apparently my standard modus operandi, I went out hard from the very start. After only a couple minutes I found myself gasping for air. But with 1000+ cyclists cheering me on all the way through, breathing (or not breathing) is of little consequence. In what was probably less than ten minutes, I rolled across the finish, taking the gold for the Unicycle category, and turned to see who was chasing me in for 2nd and 3rd places. And I waited. Then I waited a little longer.

Maybe 90 seconds after my finish, MJ and Monty came rolling around the final bend for a photo finish as MJ — leading around the bend — was unaware of Monty’s proximity and had decided to relax for the home stretch. In a length of about 50 meters, Monty managed to consume the ~15 meter gap, snatching the silver by less than a pedal stroke. Celebration, devastation and all around excitement were abound.

CrossCrusade is a series with racers obtaining points for each race. Results are updated after each race so if you’d like to follow along:

CrossCrusade results page – Unicycle category isn’t listed in the header of each set but the results should be there.

CrossResults.com – This page should become more interesting as more races are added.

Race Locations on GoogleMaps

Update: Photos (look for myself and other unicyclists starting at image #208)

Any business that handled its customers and information with the efficiency and accuracy seen in this country’s voter registration system would be immediately bankrupt and spending the remainder of its existence in court.

Fifty years ago this might be an understandable circumstance for a service that had to keep track of 300 million ‘customers’. For each individual, a record must be kept containing the following:

• SSN
• Name, date of birth (not really necessary as we are each uniquely identified by our SSN but not a bad idea either)
• Current address
• Flags that indicate eligibility to vote (convicted felon and the like)
• Probably a few other things

For a specific election, another data set can relate your SSN to a flag indicating whether you’ve voted or not. And a simple little dataset can keep a tally of how many votes each candidate has received.

In respect to most physical things, 300 million is a big number. In a database, its not. The data set described above would probably fall somewhere within 50-100 GB (yeah, like on an iPod).

Setup a few redundant servers around the country to store this database – with standard security measures – and updates to the information could be instantaneous (by human perception).

Humans and paper forms are agonizingly slow, expensive and extremely prone to error (search any news site for ‘voter registration purges’). Computers are fast, cheap and precise. How is it that a fundamental system in our country’s democracy has been technologically surpassed by the likes of HotOrNot.com?

I run well.

For a cool graphical break down of my (and others’) results, check out this site: Portland Marathon RunPix Results (bib # 5979). 

Key stats from these results: I finished in…

• 3 hours and 36 seconds (average mile pace: 6:54); 11 minutes and 13 seconds ahead of my previous marathon time (-26 seconds/mile).
• 99th place overall out of 7390 runners (approx. top 1%)
• 91st place out of all males (top 3%)
• 23rd place in my age division (25-29) (top 5%)

For the raw results goto the Portland Marathon site (results page is down right now but will probably be up soon).

It stands to reason that in Pennsylvania, the ad below would strike home with at least a fair number of viewers; otherwise it would not have been produced/aired there. However, if this were aired in Portland, I’m certain at least nine out of ten individuals would wonder — as I did — if it was in fact a parody done by the likes of Saturday Night Live.

When did walking and biking become sacrifices? And in response to the narrator’s question, though there are plenty of people who do effectively use dog sleds, I can think of at least ten good reasons to not adapt them as a standard means of transportation.

Maybe we should abandon all the ‘wacky’ personal sacrifices already required by law. Why not just throw trash on the ground whenever and where ever? And for that matter, sometimes it can really be a pain to seek out a public restroom; especially considering that we’re all fully capable of simply squatting right on the sidewalk.

Taking place at the slightly smaller REI in Clackamas, this sale was not nearly as lucritive as the previous; despite having taken the initiative to camp out over night. We were among the first 50 into the sale but the selection of gear was just not as extensive.

We snagged a few wanted, but not particularly exciting, items:

• Air matress – with built in foot pump so no batteries/outlet needed.
• Compact camping stove (big car camping kind, not backpacking)
• Socks
• Spare cycling cleats
• Klean Kanteen bottle
• Camp pillow

All practical stuff. The highlight of the event however, came around 8:30 am — 30 minutes before the sale opened. At this time, an REI “Outdoors Specialist” comes through the line giving numbered tickets to the first 50 people to ensure that those who have waited the longest get in first. At least half of this first group had camped and the rest were here well before 5 am. Just before we get our tickets, a middle-aged woman eases her way into the line with her two ~10 year old children. As a result, they each received a ticket. Everyone else exchanges glances of frustration and disgust. A sharp ear could catch whispers of, “It was a long night for some of us” and “Well aren’t we the stupid ones; camping all night when we could have just shown up now.” All comments were of course kept relatively private as fear of confrontation has become extremely pervasive in our culture.

Getting back to why this was the highlight of the event. Knowing it would bother me all day if I didn’t do anything, I politely turned to the woman and asked where she had camped, implying that if she was in line right behind us we obviously would have seen her earlier. She ruined any chance of me letting her off the hook when she replied, “Oh…we actually just got here…and I saw this big gap in the line…so I figured it was ok…to…”. Precisely the sort of response I was hoping for. I proceeded to call her out on her attempt to cloak herself in innocene and described how any ethical individual would proceed to the end of the line, knowing damn well that that is their rightful place.

She attempted to recover briefly, explaining how she already has tickets and wouldn’t know what to do with them if she got out of line. Again, this was an obvious display of feigning ignorance. I explained the obvious solution and she conceeded.

I’m going to revise my earlier statement. The highlight of the event was walking out of the sale around 9:30 and catching the eye of the same woman who was still at the back of the line and would probably remain there for the next two hours.

NASA has noted that our sun’s solar wind output is at a 50 year low and this reduction in outward ‘pressure’ may allow our system’s protective heliosphere to contract and weaken; in turn allowing more potentially harmful cosmic rays to reach the inner solar system (us).

I blame big corporations and the current U.S. administration.

stay·ca·tion -noun

1. A trendy and lame euphemism for being lazy and overly frugal in the act of vacationing.
2. A prime example of the continued bastardization of the English language.
3. A super fun event when joined by friends from out of town.

This past week, friends Steve and Kristen spent two+ days in Portland in the midst of an out-n-back cross-country road trip. As a result of their visit, numerous novel experiences were enjoyed:

• Organizing a Portland-By-Bike tour
• Spectating at the infamous Burnside Skatepark
• Consuming at Voodoo Doughnuts
• Truly enjoying the Rose Garden which is apparently at peak season right now
• Viewing the unbelievable human & swift gatherings at Chapman High School
• Hiking the spectacular Siouxson Creek Trail

So if you haven’t been to Portland in a while, or just feel the need to hang out with me, you should come give me more good reasons to take days off of work.

Click the image below to see some photos from Steve and Kristen’s time here.

Reluctantly signed up for a catastrophic plan with Kaiser Permanente about three months ago. I say reluctantly because despite an increase in deductible, the premium was approximately 25% higher than what I was paying while living in Olympia.

Today I find out that I should have been (but was not) previously notified that the plan I was on is being discontinued and I was automatically moved to a different plan. Along with this my premium will be increasing by 35%! Are you kidding me!?

Apparently they no longer offer any plans without a prescription package, which I didn’t have/want/need. Furthermore, if I “simply take on a higher deductible” of $7500 (almost double the previous) my premium will only go up by about 15%.

I am a fit, young adult with no health problems who doesn’t smoke, rarely drinks, rarely drives and who exercises more than probably 95% of the population. Catastrophic health insurance should not cost me $100+/month!

Oh! And their website is horrendous. It lacks every service that it should have; most notably the ability to pay bills online. I alone, developed an online bill pay system at work in a couple weeks at which time I had six months of experience in web development. 

This is so absurd.

Last Saturday an unprecedented bastardly event took place in the Siouxon Roadless Area in WA. Ten mountain unicyclists gathered for what was possibly the greatest MUni ride of my life. Click the image below for more photos.

Studies are coming in showing that an active lifestyle prevents onset of obesity even in those who are genetically predisposed.

So once again it comes back to the obvious cause and effect that even a toddler should intuitively understand: if you put more in than you take out, you are left with a surplus.

Start exercising or start paying your share of my health insurance.

After about 2 months of extremely rapid growth, we finally harvested some pods from the unknown variety of bean plant that Anna put in mid-summer. Upon cracking the first one open we were quite surprised.

Tasty.

You’d be amazed at how much that ½” of cushion in the heal of your shoe limits how far your calf muscles stretch when running. I know I was after only a couple miles in my new Vibram FiveFingers. 

I have to assume the name came about when it was decided that FiveToes just doesn’t roll off the tongue. 

Although there is going to be a significant period of adaptation, the sensation is wonderful; somewhere between running barefoot and walking around in slippers. I may never again have to choose between horrific blisters from hiking/running shoes and injured feet from no shoes at all.

My employer has asked me to gather my opinions regarding a move to a four day work week. Apparently too lazy to actually think my own thoughts, I began by looking up some articles on the subject. Since the majority of workers aren’t in charge of their own hours, the most considered implications appear to be those which affect whole communities/businesses/industries rather than each individual worker, i.e: productivity, utility bills, etc. The one reoccurring consideration that is centered on the individual is the reduced costs/risks that come with a 20% reduction in driving. But again, I’m in the minority as I’ve never driven to work and don’t foresee a need to do so in the future.

So what’s in it for me (for worse or better). Cons and pros:

Con: Ten hours is a long time to work.

Pro: Three day weekend. Sleeping about seven hours each night, that would mean 63 hours of waking time uninterrupted by work.

Con: None of my acquaintances have three day weekends.

Pro: I’ve always felt the five:two ratio is no way to live life.

Con: I don’t go ten hours without eating at least twice. I would need to start packing lunch and second-lunch (formerly after-school-snack).

Pro: Certain things are hard to get done on a weekend when public offices and a number of other businesses are closed. I’ve also come to abhor malls and other large shopping destinations due to a slight case of enochlophobia/ephebiphobia and yet there are occasions for which I need to buy things. Doing so on a Friday morning might be more tolerable.

Con: The longer day is likely to leave me less motivated/energized for evening activities.

Pro: Perceived time at work correlates directly with productivity (for me at least). Given the choice between ten agonizingly long hours and ten high-paced hours, I may find myself more motivated.

Con: There will still be those ten agonizingly long hours on occasion.

Pro: I could nearly pay a month’s rent with one day’s work (not a valid argument but kind of neat).

Pro: If I acquire a house in the near future, Fridays would offer a good opportunity to perform inevitable maintenance/enhancement tasks without cutting into the more socially inclined portion of the weekend.

Pro: Get to try something new.

Looks like I’m siding with the pros. If you can think of any implications I’m overlooking or have experience with the four day work week, please comment.

Thought I’d do some more running for a while. Ran for the first time in months just a couple days ago. Did a few miles on trail and felt pretty alright. Went out today and ran a half marathon; no sweat…til I stopped running, then lots of sweat.

Despite 4 of the miles being on trail, I topped my previous half marathon pace (from the one other time I’ve run that distance) yet came no where close to my full marathon pace from last year.

I have one week to decide whether or not to take on the Portland Marathon, and then one month to train. With sights set above and beyond, I probably should do it.

With Anna finishing up her first term at OHSU and myself not liking to go a month without some form of vacation, the two of us took a long weekend to flip a few goals off of the back burner. We hit the road before dawn on Friday and made a b-line for Crater Lake. Having visited winter before last for some snowshoeing, we had since been wanting to return after the snow melts to circumnavigate the crater on bike.

First sight of the lake is always breathtaking.

The rim road is approximately 33 miles around, a distance we’ve surpassed on numerous rides. However, few stretches of road offer such continuous and significant elevation change as can be seen in this elevation map (at the very bottom of the page). Still sporting my single-speed (great challenge for this ride but I wouldn’t recommend it) I was quite proud to have made it up every climb, some of them spanning five miles. And on the flip-side, we were rewarded with the longest and fastest descents we’ve ever experienced; often passing 40 mph powered by gravity alone (since my bike can only be pedaled up to about 25). One fallback of these exhilarating stretches was the swarms of recently hatched butterflies that clouded the skies. At 40 mph, a butterfly to the face feels like getting shot with a BB-gun (I’m guessing) and leaves an entirely unpleasant gooey, yellow smear. The bugs were so thick that when the occasional car passed, the machine-gun rattle of continuous impacts nearly drowned out the normal sound of the engine and tires.

The road frequently drops away from the rim and upon every return, we were certain the lake had become more blue. The photo below — though fairly uninteresting — demonstrates this well as it gives the illusion of looking at the sky rather than the water.

Though we had originally intended to take our time with this ride, the miles seemed to fly by. In no time at all we found ourselves passing the half way point, anxious to press on.

Our pace stayed strong and after an especially long climb, we hit the final descent back to the car. Goal #1 – complete.

Per recommendation from a classmate of Anna’s, our next destination was the Newberry National Volcanic Monument just South of Bend. As it was already early evening, at the visitor center we asked to be put on a loop hitting as many must-see attractions as possible. First stop was the Big Obsidian Flow, an other-wordly (but not very photogenic), mile-long, 100+ foot deep landscape of obsidian and other volcanic rock.

Next we sought out a tiny hot-spring fed pool on the very edge of Paulina Lake to soak our sure-to-be-sore muscles. However, as the air temperature had risen into the 90s, the similarly hot water was only slightly relaxing.

Returning to the car we drove up to Paulina Peak to take in the view as the sun set beyond the Three Sisters, with Mts. Bachelor, Broken Top, Jefferson and Hood also in view.

Some time later we reached Soda Creek Campground and managed to take down some camp food — fresh salad, grilled salmon and steak, wine, chocolate — before passing out after a very long day.

Although setting up camp in the dark can be annoying, sometimes waking up to unexpected scenery — such as South Sister basking in the sunrise beyond a grassy meadow – is well worth it.

Right about here is when the well-planned portion of our weekend ended. As a result, we spent a majority of the morning seeking out a ranger station for the Three Sisters Wilderness only to find that its closed on weekends…yeah, I think that’s ridiculous too. So rather than some epic mountain summit, we found ourselves hiking for a few hours on the Tam McCarthur Rim Trail overlooking Three Creeks Lake, Broken Top and the Three Sisters.

After a refreshing/freezing dip in Three Creeks Lake we got onto a forest road marked as “Not Maintained for Passenger Vehicles” that would cut out about fifty miles of driving en route to our next camp. About ten miles and two hours later we were reconsidering our shortcut. Navigating stray boulders, straddling deep trenches and splashing through rivers was fun for a while but eventually grew very tiresome and stressful. Further dismaying was the discovery that in all the bouncing around, one pedal on my bike – which was mounted on a rack behind the car — relocated itself and had apparently been scraping against my trunk for some time.

Eventually we made it back out to the highway and found our way to Devil’s Lake Campground, the base camp of choice for those looking to summit South Sister…which is exactly what we intended to do. If you’re ever in this area, I strongly recommend this free campground but bring lots of bug repellent as the mosquitoes are terrible.

After an intense, dry lightning storm during the night, we rose early the next morning as a few hikers had told us that the trip to the summit was about six hours at a strong pace and we didn’t want to be climbing as the temperature peaked in the afternoon. The first stretch was a steep climb through thick forest right at the mosquitoes feeding time. Not especially fun. But it was not long before we came upon a flatter moraine area with open views of the summit ahead.

Starting in on the true climb to the summit, the trail became loose and extremely dusty but our ascent was steady and we soon decided that the six hour estimate we’d received was far from accurate. As we climbed past turquoise glaciel pools, the vistas grew more and more impressive, hindered somewhat by haze as a result of the many fires in northern California. We also spotted smoke from a fire no more than five miles away and after speaking with some climbers who spent the night at the summit, confirmed that it had been started by the previous night’s lightning.

After only 3.5 hours of hiking we reached the mountain’s crater where the trail splits to circle the rim.

Four hours from the trail head — almost to the second — we officially reached the highest point among the Sisters at 10,363 feet (10,366 for Anna).

Taking in the views and enjoying lunch, the sun soon grew too intense and we began our descent, breaking only once for a dip in Moraine Lake. The unplanned swim left me looking especially stylish, finishing the hike wearing only wet running shorts.

As you can see above, storm clouds began rolling in and we ended up spending much of the remaining day in the tent. In the spirit of car-camping not really being camping at all, we brought along a laptop and I was finally able to introduce Anna to Star Wars, She previously being the last remaining individual of our generation to have never seen any of the movies. She’ll hesitate to admit it, but she enjoyed it and is looking forward to the remaining five episodes.

The following morning we scrambled to clear camp during the first break in the rain and drove East to Bend. There we met Sarah — a classmate of Anna’s and resident of Bend — and her husband for an indulgent breakfast before Sarah took us on a relaxing 25 mile bike tour around Bend.

We intended to explore Smith Rock that afternoon as it fell along our route home, but by the time we arrived the weather had worsened and fatigue had set in. From the little we saw, it will definitely be a future destination.

I don’t generally like to be categorized or classified into common groupings…but if we find ourselves becoming Weekend Warriors, I suppose that’s alright.

Mr. Olsen Goes to Washington

Each year eleven bridges in Portland are partially or completely closed to vehicles for the better part of a day. This is done to accommodate nearly twenty thousand cyclists riding across in looping routes ranging from 5 to 37 miles. A number of bridges, such as the I-405 (Fremont) bridge seen below, are otherwise inaccessible by non-motorized transport so the ride offers a unique opportunity to explore new terrain.

As the picture above alludes, a fair share of the many thousand participants are not regular distance riders. Thankfully, my bastardly riding companions had past experience with the immense traffic jam that is hordes of unfit people trying to climb grades not designed with human-power in mind. So instead of doing the full 37, which would definitely be classified as a distance ride on our 29″ unicycles, we jumped in half way and only rode the two highest and most scenic bridges.

After a couple failed attempts to locate someone who could push the shutter button on my camera, we got a decent group shot overlooking downtown from the Fremont bridge, nearly 200′ above the Willamette. (LtoR: Max, me, Mats, Doper).

Many miles down the course, we reached the steep ascent to the St. John’s bridge in far North Portland. Keeping my uni in the only gear it has, I managed to pass at least a hundred cyclists in less than ¼ mile, hopefully putting to rest any misconceptions regarding our association with circus clowns.

Other than that climb, the ride was pretty leisurely — especially considering the hour long break for brunch followed shortly thereafter by some backyard lounging with deliciously tart cosmopolitans courtesy of Doper — but it still reached a distance of 15 miles, which is a lot on a 29er. Adding the 5 miles of biking with uni-in-tow on each end made for a solid morning of riding.

Last Friday Anna and I joined thousands of spectators lining five city blocks to watch cyclists ride a loop over and over at ridiculous speeds. Every minute for an hour straight, the pack would coming tearing around our corner, bringing with them a wind strong enough to blow over an inattentive bystander.

At speeds surpassing 30 mph, I found my best hope for a good photo was putting the camera into multi-capture mode and just holding down the shutter. The resulting random focal-lengths made for a lot of photos with just one rider popping out of the image (see 2nd photo for example).

It may not be a coincidence that immediately after watching these races, I rode the few blocks up to REI to purchase some cleats for my recently acquired bike shoes.

Unplanned dismount is a term used commonly among unicyclists. Among those who reference it often enough it has warranted the acronym of UPD. It exists because typically one does not really fall from a unicycle. Rather, a common UPD is the result of the rider getting ahead of themself or being sent off balance by unexpected terrain features and, due to relatively low speeds, one is generally able to walk, or in some cases run, away from the imminent crash of the unicycle. Thus, the occurrence appears as little more than a dismount, though unplanned as the name would suggest.

But then there are the rare cases. Like that when you’re pushing for your top speed on a 36″ wheel. Trying not to let yourself be too distracted, you glance at the GPS on your wrist to see that your passing 18 mph and you think to yourself that you’ve probably exceeded the pace at which you could hope to hit the ground running. You decide to explain this thought to the riders on either side who are also striving to max out. But just as the words come out, the Bastard on your right — clad in little more than purple spandex and probably too many electronics — has suddenly abandoned his wheel as well as his vertical orientation and after more airtime than is typically experienced by unicyclists, slides twenty feet along the asphalt using only bare knees and elbows as cushions.

So went Zeke’s magnificent UPD at mile 37 of our 50 along the Springwater Corridor Trail. As an ultra-marathoner who is familiar with fighting through pain, he was unimpeded by his numerous wounds and within minutes we were back up and rolling. All things considered, the ride was everything I had hoped for. And, enjoying the glory that is my recently upgraded cycling shorts, exceeding my previous longest-distance by 19 miles has left me with nothing worse than tired legs. According to the GPS, I maxed out at 18.5 mph (right before the big dive) which I have to assume is also a personal best.

And so begins the training for STP 2009…

We woke early this Saturday morning to ride down to this event in hopes of scoring some discounted gear. Rumors told of items going for as little as 10% of original cost. As such, we weren’t too surprised that when we arrived an hour prior to the doors opening, we found the end of the line to be just a few feet from the entrance…having wrapped all the way around the city block. It would seem that at least 100 people had camped out for the evening in order to get first pick. And as our third hour of waiting in line came and went, we decided that next time we’ll be camping too.

Our turn finally came and we were directed into the store’s storage rooms where we found a frenzy of shoppers, shoulder to shoulder, digging through racks and bins. Plenty of the remaining gear was hardly worthy of even the nearly-free prices (i.e. sleeping pads for $3…the returned-item tag stating: “numerous unpatchable leaks”). But searching further it turned out that there were still more than enough deals to be had…espcially in the footwear room. All in all we made out like bandits…without breaking any laws of course. I can only imagine what amazing items were available to those who camped out.

A brief rundown of the fruits of our shopping spree:

Item – Original Price – Price We Paid – “Reason customer returned item” OR other reason for discount

1. Bike Intertube – $4 – $1- No box
2. One Bike Glove – $14/pair – $2 – Missing other glove
3. One Bike Glove – $14/pair – $2 – Missing other glove!!
4. Ortlied Panier Bags – $160/pair – $30 – One bag is ripped
5. Hand Held Tire Pump – $29 – $10 – “Used once, took too long to pump up tire”
6. All Weather Bike Gloves – $45 – $18 – “Did not fit”
7. Cycing Shorts – $25 – $10 – “Too big”
8. Hiking Shoes – $80 – $8 – Ripped shoelace
9. Bike Shoes – $80 – $20 – “Could not get to work for feet”
10. Hiking Shoes – $75 – $6 – “Did not fit my feet”

All in all: $512 worth of gear for $107. And best of all, everything is something we were in the market for.

The REI just SE of town is having their sale tomorrow. May just have to bust out the tent.

The movie Batman (Michael Keaton, not Adam West) was excellent. It set the bar for what would become a series of films spanning nearly two decades now. Unfortunately the three films that followed (Batman Returns, Batman Forever, Batman & Robin) were produced by people who thought comic-based films were for young children and should be wrought with cheap comedy, thus bringing shame to the once-great character.

Thankfully, Christopher Nolan brought redemption with Christian Bale in Batman Begins. If you don’t think Bale is great, watch American Psycho, Equilibrium, The Machinist, Rescue Dawn and The Prestige. And although I’ve not yet seen it, it sounds like Dark Knight lives up to and surpasses this newly raised bar.

If you’re a movie-buff you’ve probably already drawn the paralells. The original Terminator was an amazing film in which a killing machine went about trying to kill lots of people without any character or emotion (as any killing machine should). When I was eight years old, Judgement Day was released and due to it’s cutting-edge special effects, was about the coolest thing I had seen on the big screen. Having watched the movie again many years later I was disappointed to see that the terminator had taken on pointless qualities such as how to care and feel. Still, the movie was a pretty worthy iteration. Then comes Rise of the Machines. First of all, the new she-terminator is hot…which is stupid. Second, she wastes her time cleverly sneaking around and enlarging her breasts when she is a nearly-invincible weapon of mass destruction. Returning as the hero, Schwarzeneggar has not only softened in appearance but also has taken on further emotions and a terribly out-of-character tendency towards one-liners. The tragedy that is this movie (not the story but the actual movie) is brought to a fitting close when it’s pointed out that the people from the future already know that the past cannot be changed…and yet they still decide to keep sending people/things back to change the past.

Anyway…from the very brief teaser trailer, it looks as if Christian Bale may again serve as the face of salvation. Unfortunately we’ve got to wait almost a whole year.

For the past few weeks, while making the trek across town via bike to play Unicycle Polo, I’ve been bringing along a portable speaker to provide music for the ride. At first there were a few smiles and nods, recognition of doing something slightly out of the ordinary. But last night, on both legs of the ride, I managed to collect a bit of a literal following. Now, my posse wouldn’t quite compare to that of say, Jim Jones, but by the time our little mobile gathering came to a close, no one had killed themself either.

One of these days I’ll have to rig up some lighting effects, maybe even a smoke machine.

Just over two milion people reside in the greater-metropolitan area of Portland, OR. Of those, there are only two individuals who have taken up the sport of trials unicycling, myself included. How is that possible?

It is fairly motivating knowing that in a city this big, I am the very best there is when it comes to trials. But, I value a great ride far more than any sense of pride my skills might provide. And while good riding can be achieved solo, great rides require companions as a source of perspective and challenge.

So if you ever come across a unicyclist riding trials, tell them to move to Portland.

Some time ago, Anna and I spent an afternoon at the Oregon Zoo, taking advantage of a bike-here-and-get-free-admission deal. When comparing my animal-viewing enthusiasm with that of the hordes of children, I found that the years in which a zoo offered real entertainment are in my past.

Sidenote: If you’re wanting to become a parent in the near future, don’t goto the zoo. The kids are alright — for the most part — but the parents are miserable, and many redirect their self-loathing towards their children. I can’t understand why such people pay money to put themselves in those situations.

On to the photos…

Anyone else find it odd that zoo animals are often given very unnatural play things?

When we first came upon the Malayan Sun Bear (below) I was pleased to see an animal that isn’t a default inclusion in every zoo — likely because of its unsightliness. Such sentiments were quickly overwhelmed by a feeling of Wow, that thing is ugly!

Evolving alongside wild dogs, cheetahs, leopards, lions and jackals, its amazing that the gerenuk — a type of antelope — still exists today. Talk about vulnerable.

Of all that we saw, the weaver birds were easily the most impressive. For an animal with no hands, and feet whose dexterity is pretty much limited to the opened or closed positions, these birds demonstrated an amazing aptitude for tying intricate knots in order to form their nests.

The lorikeet on the other hand — drawing a much larger crowd — sure looks nice, but doesn’t seem to do much of anything.

Psych! My blog = My thoughts.

A campaign is underway in Oregon, attempting to obtain ~85,000 signatures to get an initiative on a 2010 ballot. The Cannibus Act would allow industrial growth of hemp for use in food, clothing, plastics and fuel. Oh, and on a side note, marijuana would also be legal for sale to individuals over 21.

I find the last point, although semi-relevant, to be teetering on the edge of piggybacking. I suspect the reality however, is that legalizing marijuana is the real intent here and the rest of it is being used as a worthwhile mask of legitimacy.

From the little I’ve read, it sounds like hemp is a pretty usable material and it’s legalization could bring a lot of money into the state. The sole reason the plant can’t be grown is that it is a close relative of the marijuana plant, both falling under the genus of cannibus. So yeah, go ahead and legalize it; it never should have been made illegal in the first place. I suppose I can’t say for sure but I’m assuming that when prohibition was enacted, no one suggested a ban on all the various fruits, vegetables, grains, etc. used in producing various alcoholic beverages.

So marijuana is a whole different issue. But ya know, I’m still going to stick with the choice of legalizing it, though it should happen via it’s own initiative/act. Justifications:

• A significant portion, if not a majority, of my generation and the generations before and after mine use marijuana anyway.
• Everyone always says “buy local” and there are a lot of great reasons to do so. Legalizing growth of marijuana would make that possible.
• Illegal dealers are generally not forthcoming when it comes to taxes. Legal sales would take money away from the criminals and put it into the state.
• The war on drugs would cost less with one less drug to worry about.
• Although accidental deaths result from marijuana use, the numbers are minute when compared to the same resulting from alcohol consumption.
• There are no established short-term or long-term adverse health effects so it’s way healthier than smoking cigarettes or drinking (too much) which means it consumes fewer health care dollars.
• …and the rest of the arguments you’ve also heard before.

I’m not a tobacco user, and while I would prefer that cigarettes were not present in the world around me, the truth is that they are and people smoke them. Legal or not, they’re here to stay. Having accepted that, I’m all for keeping it legal and taxing it to death. On a side-note, I do think long term smokers should be ineligible as recipients of any sort of publicly funded health care, organ donations, etc. for treatment of related health problems. Addicts may be predisposed, but it’s still a conscious choice.

Edit: Excellent suggestion was offered up by Bok of the Unicycle Bastards: In order to aid in justifying this revoked privilege, tobacco companies should be required to fully finance all programs/products intended to help smokers quit. That would serve as a form of reparations that actually lives up to the definition.

Getting back to the point – just like cigarrettes, marijuana is not going away. So lets make the best of it.

Inspired by sister-in-law, Molly:

Highs:

• At work I spent the last two weeks developing a whole new user interface for a client’s public website. On Thursday I find out that it was demo-ed to the client before I had a chance to perform any testing or other such QA. Despite that, the new site performed excellently and was well received. I’m a successful web-developer!
• Thursday night I packed up the bike trailer with lots of toys (unicycle, slackline, juggling gear) and my portable speaker — riding with headphones is fairly unappealing and I think it’s illegal, but riding with a sound system in the open air is great — and hauled everything up to NE, arriving well before the start of this week’s uni-polo game in order to do some juggling and slackling.
  • After not doing it for a good 8-9 months, slacklining was great and I was still pretty on top of my game; landing jumps, juggling on the line and sticking the highly gratuitous back-flip dismount.
  • I’ve also been a bit lax on my juggling practice lately but despite that, I was nailing continuous back-cross flashes (3 clubs)…something I had never done prior to this week.
  • Our number of regular attendees at polo has doubled in the past month and as the average skill level increases, so does the fun.
• Friday evening Anna and I rode down to Tigard — a stretch covering what has to be the hilliest 13 miles in the greater Portland area — to attend a 4th of July barbecue hosted by one of Anna’s classmates. The food, company and entertainment were all tremendous (I won the game of croquet and am attributing it to the weekly polo games). The city’s fireworks show was sad at best, but fireworks don’t really do it for me anymore so expectations were low. The night came to a thrilling end as an alternate route home had us climbing for 4-5 miles and descending for the remaining 8 — including a number of hills where gravity alone had us exceeding 40 mph speed limits.
• Saturday morning I woke up in need of a project. Five hours later I had converted our garage from a crowded and jumbled mess into a meticulously cleaned, organized and relatively vacant space. I didn’t buy anything or throw anything away but we now have a bike-workbench, an excess of bike/unicycle parking and perhaps room for a car if we ever wanted to put one in there. I don’t know why cleaning the garage is such a dreaded task for many. I enjoyed every minute and found it to be incredibly satisfying.
• Due to the rampant unicycle-enthusiasm sweeping the area, we had a huge turnout for a mountain ride up in Scappoose last night. Despite highly technical terrain and very little light, all of the first-timers did great and each had at least one moment where they rode some stretch of terrain that they never would have thought possible. The resulting massive grins were sure signs of new-found addiction.

Low:

Yesterday afternoon, seven neighbors witnessed a man pull an unsuccessful u-turn right outside our house, scuffing the corner of my car’s bumper with his. One neighbor spoke with the driver who said he would park his car while the neighbor came over to inform me. The driver then just took off. Given the very minor damage, I wasn’t too concerned, especially when I found out that the witnesses had all made sure to take down the license plate number. The Portland police quickly put a damper on things by informing me that the plates did not match the described vehicle. With complete disinterest, I was told that the plates were likely stolen (which apparently isn’t a crime worth pursuing either) and that the police would not be doing anything. After some encouragement on my part, the officer did agree to add the plates to a watch-list. Apparently that isn’t standard protocol. Perhaps I should take up auto-theft as a career.

So if you live in the area and you spot a mid-90’s teal minivan with license plate 508-BMW, give me a call.

With last night having been the first time I’ve driven since we purchased a bike trailer one month ago, I really should get around to selling the car.

Upon moving to Portland, I was fortunate enough to be welcomed into one of the few exclusive unicycling troops in the country, and perhaps the world. But if there is one truth about Portland (there are actually many), it is that trends catch and spread like cheap grape jelly: in uneven clumps that tear the soft bread of mainstream society.

And as such, it would seem that unicycling may be the next ridiculousness to obtain a cult following. As part of PedalPalooza, we Bastards hosted an instructional Unicycling for Noobs event with an amazing turn out.

Though a fair number of people struggled (as is to be expected with a first attempt at unicycling) a select few picked it up like sticks and got the unicycling itch. Since then, those few have acquired their own unis and begun attending our weekly polo matches. And despite polo’s demand for a technical ability far above that required to ride along mere sidewalks, these newbies are already holding their own.

Semi-related photo inclusion: As the sun was setting on our instructional event and I was attempting to capture the fountain seen below, some bicyclist rode right through my shot, vastly improving it.

Cashing in a generous gift certificate from The Parents last night, Anna and I attended the final showing of Broadway Across America’s production of Avenue Q, an adult-oriented musical comedy featuring a mix up of live actors and puppets.

It took awhile to get used to a puppeteer standing in plain sight right along side his puppet but after awhile it only added to the impressiveness of the performance, as each character’s movements and expressions were manifested by both the puppeteer and his puppet.

The story was relevant (especially for many demographics which I fit into) and well-told, the writing was clever (save for a totally out of place pop-culture reference to George Bush which unfortunately got the loudest applause of the night; don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan either…but there is a time and a place and this was not it), and it was fun to see puppets in a whole new light.

If this show comes to your town, get yourself a ticket. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Sidenote: When the show ended, the performers all hit the stage to accept their applause. After plenty of praise, they casually walked off stage…but without even a pause (I could see them stage-left) they all turned around and ran back out, encouraging/requiring yet more applause. As one can imagine, the now-tradition of this return-to-stage move has it origins in shows where the audience was so pleased that they refused to stop cheering. With such flattery, the performers would likely feel abliged to return to the stage to accept such high praise.

But now, the purpose has been lost and the cause-effect relationship reversed. It just comes across as silly and obligatory, much like encores at concerts. If you’re the kind of person who acts surprised when the band comes out for one last song, shame on you.

Anna recently returned to the role of student, starting the 26 month Physician’s Assistant program at OHSU. Immediately prior to this we found a window of just under a week in which to cram some brief travels. Scoring some super cheap airfare, we took a direct flight to Denver where friend Kristen — having driven from Manhattan, KS — picked us up. After a stint in Denver we turned North for a supply run in Boulder before ascending into the mountains. I believe the last time I had experienced summertime in the Rockies was over a decade ago, but I was quickly reminded of the hot days, cold nights and unbelievably dry air.

The three of us camped just a short ways into the foothills that night and in the morning made our way to Eldorado Canyon which is just southwest of Boulder, and also where sister Jennie worked while attending CU-Boulder. Much of the canyon resides in a state park renowned for its excellent climbing opportunities and after a few short and sweet morning hikes featuring views of the expansive eastern CO flats as well as the continental divide, friends and avid climbers Ben and Steve joined us for the remainder of the day with the canyon being their final stop on a climbing road trip originating in La Crosse, WI.

Back in college I did quite a bit of climbing with Ben and Steve. In fact, I was on the climbing gym’s staff when they first got started. But in our time apart they’ve taken their sport to a whole different level. Kristen, Anna and I relaxed as the pair casually but precisely selected the necessary gear for their ascent of The Bastille Crack, a 350 foot, five-pitch climb (I believe they did it in three pitches though).

Steve lead the climb, making quick work of the first ~50 feet and continuing on for at least another 100 before settling in on a small ledge to belay Ben as he followed and cleaned.

In the first image below you can just make out Steve (top) belaying Ben up the route (click for larger image). In the second photo Ben is ascending the last few feet of the final pitch.

After an exhausting day of exposure to the hot sun and fierce, sand-filled wind, we all returned to Boulder for some quality social time (it’s hard to catch up with friends when they’re 200 feet above you on a rock face).

After dinner and desserts, Ben and Steve began the long journey back to WI as Kristen, Anna and I started out for Steamboat Springs. Fatigue set in sooner than expected so we ended up grabbing a spot at the first campground we came upon.

Arriving in Steamboat the next morning, we rendezvoused with Biz and her dog, Sota, who had driven over from Grand Junction. We relaxed for much of the afternoon at a nice little cafe before getting in a short hike on the Fish Creek Falls trail.

In search of free camping we later found ourselves searching dirt roads for a poorly marked trail head. The state forest trail descriptions stated that water was accessible about half way along the 3 mile trail. As we were without sufficient water, this information was reassuring. After over an hour of climbing a mountain with full packs we grew skeptical. Ditching our gear at a suitable camping spot, we continued on with just our water bottles and after a great deal longer, discovered that the distances must have been by crow (which is totally absurd and dangerous to put on a trail guide). But we did manage to obtain water and the scenery was well worth the effort. With his endless energy, Sota provided plenty of motivating entertainment as well.

After a hearty meal we spent the evening playing electronic catch phrase amidst a field of skunk-weed (neat looking plant that doesn’t smell bad at all). Electonic games don’t really fit into the getting-back-to-nature spirit but it was fun and I suspect there were no other campers to annoy for miles in any direction.

The following day would prove to be our big hiking day and it began with the descent back to the cars. Sidenote: you may have noticed how blue the sky is in all of these pictures, and yes I know the sky is typically blue, but I swear the sky was bluer in Colorado. I don’t know if that’s a result of higher elevation or just my perception after living in the northwest, but regardless, every day was perfectly clear and beautiful.

We returned to the Fish Creek Falls trail with hopes of following the route further as it ascended for a bit over six miles to reach a chain of mountain lakes along the continental divide. Given the time of year and the steep terrain, the creek was as high as it gets, with most of its water in a state of falling rather than flowing.

The mountain sides were packed with alpines, whose bright green leaves were glowing in the afternoon sun.

But after a few miles we began to encounter patches of snow and before long, the trail was lost.

We knew the trail followed a generally straight path (the creek) and decided to push on, but as we progressed, more and more steps left us buried up to our thighs…except for Sota who effortlessly cruised across the snow. Encountering one false summit after another, we never did find any mountain lakes and had to begin our descent before the intense sun took too much of a toll.

That evening we camped just West of Yampa on some BLM land. After nearly seven hours of hiking we all crashed pretty early. In the morning we found a spot next to a nearby reservoir (of all accessible landmarks, this was the closest to a mountain lake) and wasted away much of the day playing Apples to Apples and finishing off a lot of the beer we had failed to consume thus far. Continuing South, we found ourselves in Eagle, a small town just West of Vail. After some terribly disappointing root beer floats at an old fashioned diner, we said goodbye to Biz and Sota who had to return to Grand Junction that night. Kristen, Anna and I proceeded East towards Vail but turned off the beaten path to find a great campsite a ways off of a scenic highway.

The area was undeveloped but a few camps were setup, claiming all the previously established fire pits. For as many campfires as we’ve all enjoyed, none of us had actually constructed our own pit so we decided to do just that. Though hardly a significant task, it did prove to be quite enjoyable and rewarding.

Shortly after consuming a delectable meal, another camper joined us by our fire and we subsequently learned that due to high cost of living in the Vail Valley, he (Nathan) and a friend had made this small plot of land their home for the summer while they worked in the area. It seemed like a pretty decent lifestyle (at least for the short term) and the pair of them are even considering living in a snow cave next winter. Have to admit I was just a bit jealous.

In the morning we took Nathan’s advice and set out on yet another trail offering access to a mountain lake. It was a steep but gorgeous climb among more alpines and skunk weed. But, once again we were stopped short by a trail lost in the snow. As this was our last hike of the trip, it came as now small disappointment but again, there were no regrets.

We pressed on to Vail and spent a few hours playing tourist; visiting over priced shops, enjoying massive ice cream cones and watching in awe as some local pros kayaked in Gore Creek, the small but powerful river flowing through town. Kristen would be remaining in CO to attend the Telluride Bluegrass festival while Anna and I needed to catch our flight out of Denver that evening. So the plan was to take the Greyhound departing mid-afternoon. Not the best choice.

The bus arrived almost two hours late and even then, the driver was unsure he’d be able to take everyone who had purchased tickets. Not sure what we would have done if we couldn’t have gotten on…and even more unsure of how Greyhound can sell tickets for seats they may not have…but I suppose the airlines do it too.

I recently read an article about the common misbehavior of airline passengers who feel a certain level of anonymity when flying and somewhat justifiably feel like they’ve paid for the rights to act however they so choose. But I have to say, the passengers on this bus were way beyond anything I’ve ever experienced on a plane. Many of the rider’s were in it for the long haul, traveling most of the way across the country. So, in hopes of being as comfortable as possible, many were basically wearing pajamas. And evidently, those who chose to not wear underwear were also those who chose to not bother pulling their pants up whenever they stood up. One obese woman walked up and down the isle a couple times practically naked.

Though I tried my best, I couldn’t help overhearing a two hour long shameless flirting session between the two rider’s behind me…whom had just met but were getting extremely comfortable with each other. After stories of how much they both enjoyed bar fights (in which both of them were always victorious) they progressed on to their exceptional performance in bed…sparing no details. Only after hearing that the girl was a divorced mother of two, did I find out that her twentieth birthday was coming soon. For the first time in my life I found myself wishing I already had children, just so they could be along for the ride thus providing greater justification in turning around and explaining how incredibly inappropriate, immature and disgusting their conversation was. Though I’m not usually the outspoken type, I came so close to confronting them with the truth that neither of them was really listening to the other, but rather just waiting for their turn to brag, so they might as well just decide right now to sleep with each other and shut up about it until it happens. Moving along…

After checking our bags at the airport, we were entertained by how easily discernible our gate was by the type of people waiting there. I don’t mean to stereotype but the seats really were filled with healthy looking, unobnoxious people, a sharp contrast to the majority of Denver Airport patrons. After a bit of juggling — Always fun in airports. Though the kids are excited for any break from the boredom of waiting at the gate, I think the distraction is appreciated more by their parents — the journey home went smoothly and was a great relief after the bus ride. As we walked in our front door, we were discussing how the five day trip had felt like a couple of fun filled weeks; a sure sign of success.

More photos not by me; this time of last week’s tremendous Uni Polo gathering.

Photos by Jay Lawrence of Polara Studios (click image for gallery):

Remnants of a night on the town with the Unicycle Bastards:

• Massive, gushing head wound
• Shredded, blood soaked clothes
• Blood on my unicycle
• Hand stamp from a strip club

Couldn’t be happier.

Details to come…

Edit: Details:

Feeling lazy so rather than elaborate with insufficient words, I’m just going to redirect you to an excellent set of photos taken by Garrett Downen. Click image below:

Can’t wait ’til next year’s rampage!

Edit #2: Another great set of photos by Jay Lawrence at Polara Studios(click image for gallery):

Last night’s iteration of our weekly gathering for Unicycle Polo at Alberta Park drew riders and spectators like never before due to it’s being promoted as part of the ongoing Pedalpalooza here in Portland. In spite of a wider range of abilities, the competition was as fierce as ever (which really isn’t very fierce at all).

OregonLive.com showed up to film a bit of the action and managed to capture an excellent play by myself and one Bok Choi (look for it fifteen seconds into the clip, I’m in the brown pants, silver shirt and blue vest).

Making use of our newly acquired bike trailer, last night also marked my first bike-commute to UniPolo which takes place a bit over five miles from home, and all of it uphill…but not very steep. Though the loaded trailer is a noticeable burden, the ride took precisely 30 minutes; approximately the same time it previously took to drive. Returning home was a relative breeze.

Even more exciting unicycling news coming soon…

Just a couple days ago I was complaining about the dreary weather around here. Then today it’s plenty warm and as sunny as it gets. The mountains were out and with the Rose Festival still going strong, it seemed everyone in town was too.

In other good times, though the weather was not yet great yesterday, Anna and I enjoyed a 30+ mile ride to the northern-most point of Portland (East of the Williamette), Kelley Point Park. As Anna gets comfortable on her new road bike (a very generous gift from her parents), I find myself considering a higher gear-ratio on my single speed (I can’t let a girl beat me in the flats). Speaking of which, after Anna suffered through three flats in two days, we both invested in some under-the-saddle bags and patch kits. Well worth the $8.

Also in biking-all-the-time news, we made a sweet score off of craigslist today for $25 (center stage in the photo below):

Now you’re probably thinking, Jack…you don’t have any kids. That may be true now, but come January of next year…no, I’m kidding. I’ve got at least a couple more decades to go before I consider that whole ordeal. We bought the bike trailer as one step closer to never having to drive within the city. Although it looks kinda dorky to tote this thing around, it tracks wonderfully, is lightweight and has a rain cover. The minute we got it home, we hooked it up and took off for the grocery store. As we were loading up our reusable grocery bags in preparation for the ride home, we both commented on the relief and relaxation we’ve been bringing upon ourselves through such lifestyle changes. Yeah we’re doing lots of things that are good for the economy, the environment and our own physical well-being, but I think that for both of us, it’s more about doing away with excess which has been proving to be not only unnecessary, but counter-productive; trimming away the fat both figuratively and literally.

Backtracking a bit… As we were driving back into town after picking up the trailer, we noted how long it had been since we’d spent so much time in a car (a total of about 50 minutes). This got me thinking about how ridiculous my car insurance premiums are. I had previously checked with Geico only to find that I was already in their lowest annual mileage bracket and so despite the fact that I’ll likely put way less than 5,000 miles on my car this year, I’m paying nearly $4/day while my car usually just sits in front of our house. So this train led to the theorizing of a pay-per-mile insurance coverage. Well, it turns out I’m not the first to have this idea (surprise!) and there are a number of organizations trying to get such systems in place. Many of these groups cleverly and appropriately refer to current insurance plans as all-you-can-eat; where you’ve already paid as much as you’re going to pay so you might as well get the highest mile/$ or else you’re getting ripped off. A pay-per-mile plan would reward those who drive less, thus providing incentive to spend less on gas and cars, which in turn would keep more money in local economies. This is what I would refer to as an “everybody wins” situation. Hard to argue against those.

Well enough for now. It was a great weekend and as society overcomes one retarding factor after another, progress keeps accelerating. The future is looking better and better.

Almost forgot!… We’re going to Colorado on Wednesday!

Winters in the northwest are supposed to be rainy and gray. Well it’s June now…and it’s rainy, gray and super windy…and has been for too many days. I recall a number of days in February when I wore shorts and was still too warm. How ’bout we get some more of that goin’?

Venturing a mere half hour from town weekend before last, Anna and I joined another pair for a couple days of hiking in the gorge. The forecast had looked grim but for five hours we climbed into the mountains with nothing but clear skies.

It was a few hours before we actually reached the loop portion of the trail and due to extremely high water in Bell Creek, the loop turned into an out-’n-back. Eventually we reached Franklin Ridge, some 2500′ higher than the trailhead. After enjoying the scenery we turned around and descended back to the creek to make camp.

As we were cooking a tasty wild rice and mushroom soup for dinner, we were all startled by a sudden and loud ‘ding’. Something had struck the soup pot. Just a few seconds later, it happened again but we all saw it this time and inspected the item to discover that it was a marble-sized hailstone. And with that, a torrent of ice descended upon us. We hurried off to our tents, where we remained, confined by a continual downpour, frequent lightning and roaring thunder (unusual for Oregon) until morning.

The sun never really rose the next day as we were deep in a valley, enclosed in very dense wood. But the storm had passed and with the added wetness, the forest looked as lush as ever. It continued to drizzle for the remainder of our hike out and the humidity was so high that my camera lens would fog up instantly after each futile attempt to dry it off.

(Below, left to right: Will, Leah, Anna, Me, Triple Falls)

The weather certainly could have been better and it would have been nice to hike the whole loop, but for a first outing of the season, it was entirely satisfying.

I’ve encountered a number of people in town who say they’d like to bike more as a means of transportation and/or recreation but have chosen not to do so because they believe it to be unsafe or at least, too scary.

It is true that there are occasional serious collisions involving bicyclists, sometimes even resulting in a fatality. But if the relevant facts are considered, biking proves to be statistically far safer than driving.

Bringing up Google News this morning, in the Portland specific column, four of ten headlines referenced the deaths of five people in vehicle-only collisions. All four occurred during just this last weekend.

The numbers of drivers and bikers has to be taken into account as over 80% of Portlanders never bike-commute. So of course the number of driver fatalities should be higher. But looking at it as a per-user ratio, driver fatalities have always far exceeded those of bikers.

A greater problem is likely the feeling of vulnerability. A vehicle collision at 25 mph will probably leave drivers with a few bruises where as a crash at the same speed on a bike is likely to put someone in a hospital. This seems like reasonable justification for staying in the car. But, a majority of drivers don’t think twice about driving 60+ mph on a two-lane highway where opposing traffic is a mere five or six feet away. It would be a rare occurrance for anyone to survive a head on collision at that speed.

So here are my suggestions:

• If you would like to bike, do it, but be smart about it. Invest in the whole helmet, headlight, tail-light setup and find good routes.
• If you don’t want to bike, try to keep in mind how easily your vehicle could ruin or end a biker’s life (especially if you drive an SUV or truck).
• Never honk at a biker unless you believe it will prevent them from harm. Horns are designed to be heard through windows in loud traffic and as such, are deafening and startling to an exposed ear just a few feet away.
• And for humanity’s sake, use your turn signal!

Just watched a video-demo of the next Windows OS due to release in late 2009. It seems Microsoft’s pride and joy for this iteration is their multi-touch technology: touch screens which respond to multiple points of contact (yes, just like on the iPhone).

I’m not sure how they’re conducting market research if they came to the conclusion that this technology would be a big selling point. The key components of a physical, input user interface (keyboard, mouse, touch-screen) are the speed and intuitiveness of communicating information to the computer. Any aspect of an interface which reduces these factors ensures that the interface will not be accepted. Even the mouse, an excellent means of interacting with a graphical user interface, has the significant downfall of taking one hand away from the keyboard, hence the very common implementation of keyboard shortcuts whenever possible.

Let’s look at a few ways in which the new multi-touch interface is bound to fail:

• Skin is oily. I don’t want to finish off every use of my computer with a cleaning session.
• Try reaching both of your arms to your screen(s) right now and hold them there for fifteen seconds. Notice anything?
• Imagine a practical application in which more than two simultaneous points of contact would be useful (aside from Microsoft’s demo app which allows you to play a piano via touch-screen)…yeah, I can’t really think of one either.
• Forget the last point and imagine that you are doing something that uses three points of contact. Try putting each index finger on your screen. Now, with any remaining digit, go through the motions of dragging something across the screen. Yeah, my fingers are attached to each other too.
• To overcome the problems discovered in the last point, you could start with the thumb and index finger of one hand and then do the drag with the other hand. Now, with the hypothetical photo your thumb and finger are resizing, enlarge it to fill the screen.
• Put your two index fingers on the screen again. Getting annoyed yet?
• But for real, put them on the screen. Can you see your clock? How about the buttons in your task bar? I don’t know about you but I get annoyed when my mouse cursor obscures a single character of text.
• Another app featured in the demo was an online map service. With multi-touch, zooming-in is as easy as putting two fingers on the screen and spreading them apart; a vast improvement over the outdated double-click or turn of the mouse-wheel, right?
• Imagine you just spent over $200 on Windows 7. You get everything installed on your current system, open up Windows Picture and Fax Viewer to resize a recent photo, reach to the screen and go through the motions (literally) and…nothing happens. You spend some time ensuring that the drivers are installed correctly but still no results. Oh wait, that’s right! Your monitor(s) aren’t touch-screens. No big deal, you just spend $10/screen to recycle your old ones and another measly $1000+ to replace them with touch-screens. Problem solved.

My suggestion: stick with what already works and if you must, take the money you’ve saved and buy a piano.

I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t put a “WWJD?” bumper sticker on his car (assuming he chose to drive one) but if he did, you know damn well he wouldn’t find the common courtesy — and not to mention, legal requirement — of using one’s turn signal to be too much of an inconvenience.

Talk about sloth…

Been sleeping indoors for too many consecutive nights. We’re off to enjoy the waterfalls, old growth and expansive views of Mt. Hood National Forest, though only for one night. Also going to try on some potential friends and see how they fit.

Just finished putting everything together and I’m quite happy with the result. Total cost: $14. Except for the tape, all re-used parts.

You may notice that the brake cable tube stay (I don’t know if that’s what it’s called but it makes sense) at the far right of the picture looks a little odd. That’s because it’s the entirely wrong component. But, I needed something there until I find the right part or else the brake would not function. With the added feature of drops in my handlebars I should be able to cut down my wind-resistance by a fair amount, thus making this bike an even more absurdly easy ride.

On Friday I also purchased a bike-accessory upgrade; a purchase I should have made a long time ago:

For a lot less than I expected to pay, strapping this thing on is like night and day when compared to my old skate-style helmet. Way lighter, way cooler and significantly flashier.

Rode over to City Bikes Saturday morning in search of the used set of brake levers shown above. Arrived a few minutes before they were to open and after standing around outside for a bit, decided to spend the time riding around a few blocks. And it’s a good thing I did. Returning less than five minutes later I rolled up to see two cars up on the sidewalk, having smashed into each other before crashing into the bike shop. The more-damaged vehicle came to rest exactly where I had been standing.

Other bikers had arrived as I was passing the time and a couple guys dodged a pummeling from a damaged street sign by only a few inches. Although one driver appeared to be in shock, no one was physically hurt (as far as I know). Most of the carnage was limited to one of the cars and an innocent, by-standing, parked bicycle.

Despite the unexpected happenings, the store opened for business as usual and I was able to buy the part I needed for a reasonable $3, putting the total expense of this project up to $4.

You may be aware that I’m in the market for a replacement for my Subaru Impreza WRX. It’s almost an all-around great vehicle, save for it’s fuel efficiency. From an environmental view-point, Subaru has assurred me that their zero-emission vehicle production facilities make the lifetime ‘foot-print’ of the car far better than most despite it’s non-competitive rate of consumption. So I can’t quite justify a replacement for the sake of the environment alone.

So how about that other factor that occasionally plays a part in decision making; money? Every time I fill my tank these days — which due to an increase in biking, is actually quite a rare occurrance — it runs me about $50. In seeking a replacement which represents a wise financial move, a number of factors have to be taken into account (that number being 5):

1. Fuel-efficiency of the replacement vehicle
2. Cost of fuel in the next x years
3. Amount of driving I’m likely to do in the next x years
4. Cost of the replacement vehicle
5. Resale value of my current vehicle

If I keep my car and drive 10,000 miles/year for the next five years (probably will be far less but I’m biased towards whatever results will leave me more inclined to get a different car). With a current mpg of about 22, that represents a fuel cost — making a terrible assumption of $4/gal — of ~$9000 (that sucks).

If, however, I swap out for a Prius (don’t really want one of those but it’s got the highest fuel-efficiency on the market right now) I’m looking at 45 mpg, a net loss of nearly $9000 on the selling/buying of vehicles plus a $4,500 fuel bill. Pretty easy to see this doesn’t work out so well.

But — getting back to the title of this post — in my highschool years I drove a VW Jetta III which at the time left me convinced that I would drive VW for life. Obviously that conviction didn’t stick. But just this morning I saw that the 2009 Jetta TDi is coming to the states with an emissions rating that meets the world’s strictest regulations, a price tag about $5k less than the prius and a fuel-efficiency of ~55 mpg. Also, it’s not a Prius.

So, recalculating: 55 mpg, ~$3,500 loss in selling/buying, fuel bill of ~$4,000 (price adjusted for higher rate of diesel).

To summarize, keeping my car will cost me $9,000 in the next five years (regarding just the factors mentioned above). Switching to a new Prius (ugh) will cost me $13,500. Switching to a new Jetta will cost $7,500. Sounds good to me!

But wait, there’s more! Right now I pay way too much for car insurance despite hardly driving at all. The primary reason for that is the type of car I’m driving. Migrating to the Jetta is likely to cut that bill down by 30-40%, taking at least another $1000 off that five year projection.

All of this will be disregarded by the time 2009 rolls around, hopefully due to an ever increasing selection of higher-efficiency vehicles that don’t look stupid.

Yes I understand this is fiction. And yes, the target audience is primarily children. But come on! The first movie, which was great, takes place as the most recent Ice Age is beginning. The second is set near the end of this Ice Age and somehow the main characters lived for all of those ~10,000 years. I can get over that. But apparently now that the glaciation has ended, dinosaurs are roaming the Earth?

I could approve of an Ice Age 3. I would have no criticism of an animated dinosaur movie either. But this premise is just absurd. What’s next…Ice Age 4 – The Coming of Jesus?

Want to make some money? I suggest developing a product — be it a pill, topical cream, suppository, radiation therapy, whatever — that permanently reduces perspiration for the whole body. I’d buy it.

It is said that sweat is necessary to cool the body. That may be true…to an extent. But I’m pretty sure when I’m out unicycling, the excessive sweat which drips out from under my helmet and pools in my eyes is not aiding me in anyway. Likewise, I’m sick of putting shoes on the day after a ride only to feel like they were submerged in one of the many fountains downtown…though admittedly this is exactly what happened on multiple occasions.

It’s going to be 86º this evening when we’re playing Uni-Polo and 94º tomorrow. If I die of dehydration while unicycling, don’t mourn my death too much. But do avenge me by developing the all-over-antiperspirant described above.

Took our first trip to the Good Will sorting facility (a.k.a. Good Will Bins) today. Prior to any expense going into sorting, pricing or shipping items to other locations, everything is offered up at this warehouse. Aside from some heavier things like furniture, items sell by the pound and the more you buy, the lower the rate.

It’s really like a giant garage sale in that nearly everything is junk. However, among the tens of thousands of items, there is definitely something for everyone. For approximately $5 I rode away with a great zip-up, moisture-wicking shirt, a ridiculous sweater-vest (standard Unicycle Bastard uniform), about $40 worth of unopened seasonings and this:

My single-speed currently features bullhorn handlebars and as we were riding to Good Will I was telling Anna how much I wanted drop handlebars. Along with the bars came a couple of brake levers and some end caps. All I need now is some sweet tape.

Regarding mental health and the associated care systems, I’m a layman at best. But that doesn’t stop me from expressing opinions on the subject.

For three years now, I’ve lived with someone who has worked very closely with many individuals suffering from a smorgasbord of mental illnesses. And I certainly respect her claims that the care systems are lacking in no small way. While there is very likely room for improvement, I strongly doubt that a “good” solution exists. Time for an analogy:

Let’s say you own an apple orchard and produce apple juice as a means of supporting your family. Apples are excellent producers of apple juice and so you welcome apple trees into your fields and accommodate their growth whenever possible. But one day a stray orange seed lands in your fields and sprouts into an orange tree (I don’t really know how plausible this is but just go with it). A range of actions can be taken in response to such an occurrence:

1. Dig up the tree and dispose of it. An excellent choice if your primary concern is the well-being of your family which is directly related to the success of your orchard.
2. Leave it be, allowing it to consume resources which are crucial to your apple trees. A reasonable decision if you are ethically opposed to uprooting/killing trees.
3. Incorporate the juice from the oranges into your apple juice and later find out that the majority of juice-drinkers prefer ‘pure’ apple juice. A questionable course of action. Your family will suffer as a result, but if you believe that all fruit juices deserve equal opportunity, it may be justifiable.
4. Develop a radical chemical fertilizer which when applied to the orange tree, causes it to grow apples. This may be difficult but upon success, provides for your family and avoids killing the tree. However, by causing it to grow apples you’ve essentially turned it into an apple tree, thus doing away with the original completely.

Hopefully you’ve noticed some connections by now. Persons with mental illnesses are difficult to accommodate because often times their thought processes (the root of who they are) and resulting actions are counteractive in relation to the goals of the majority. The ill person is hardly to blame for their illness, but likewise, healthy individuals cannot be blamed for supporting policy which caters primarily to the majority.

So as I stated earlier, I dont’ believe a “good” solution exists. The reason being that two mutually exclusive goals are being pursued simultaneously. I don’t like to criticize without offering alternatives or solutions but in this case I’m just suggesting that critics refrain from issuing harsh words about our mental health care systems unless they themselves can present a better solution that is plausible in modern society.

Edit: Upon re-reading this I realized that it sounded like an attack on Anna…which wasn’t my intent. This was written in reaction to a few news articles which criticized the ill state of this country’s health care system without any mention of alternatives.

Offer me a challenge that lessens or will lessen the quality of human life and I’ll explain why it can be overcome by reducing our population by 90%. Yes, I realize that all of our problems could also be solved by reducing the population by 100%, but let’s assume a common goal of continuation for our species.

Let’s make another assumption and from here on out consider my first statement above to be globally valid…because it is. So now all we face is a task that many would consider to be a pipe-dream. I’m not one for smoking so I rather describe it as an absolute feasibility.

The solution is radical yet elegant, controversial yet justifiable. I can’t take credit for the concept as I first encountered it in Kim Stanley Robinson’s book, Red Mars. However, the story only touched on the basics and most of what is below is of my own construction.

With a goal of population reduction, the most obvious and efficient method is mass extermination, be it deliberate or via global catastrophe. One or both of these could definitely occur in the near future but a better option might be one that doesn’t involve any increase in the average death rate.

There are two factors in population flux; deaths and births. Since we are avoiding an increase in deaths, the only other option is a decrease in births. Of course, any regulation on reproduction will be met with great opposition but try to consider the following objectively, keeping in mind that the objective is increased quality of life for each future generation.

Things we want to consider in developing birthing regulations (from here on out I will refer to an individual’s right to produce one child as a ‘birth-right’):

1. All people should have equal birth-rights.
2. It takes one man and one woman to produce a child (obvious but important).
3. Biological parents have a variety of relationships ranging from life-long committment to none.
4. Generally speaking, there are numerous direct correlations between a child’s quality of life and his parents’ income level.
5. A future child’s health and well-being should take priority over his parents’ values.
6. Modern birth control and contraceptives are both cheap and effective.
7. There should be no fixed limit on how many children a person can produce…otherwise the system will never be accepted.

That last point may seem to inherently contradict the concept of birthing regulations but in fact it does not.

The concept is simple so I will lay it out simply. The implications are great so they will require greater exploration.

At birth, every human earns an irrevokable ¾ birth-right. It’s tough to produce ¾ of a child, so when deciding to have a child, a person must add their birth-right to that of another resulting in 1½ birth-rights. After a birth, each parent is left with a remaining ¼ birth-right. Two courses of action can be taken next. If the parent(s) do not foresee having another child at the time, they can sell their remaining birth-rights. The rights can only be sold to a virtual, global bank of birth-rights. The other course of action, in the event that the parents want to have another child, would be for each to purchase another ¼ birth-right from this bank. The bank’s “vault” would originally contain zero birth-rights and so before additional rights could be purchased, other parents would have to have sold their remainders.

Important regulations which would need to be in place:

1. An individual may only sell ¼ birth-right from their initial ¾ birth-right prior to producing a child. In other words, a childless individual will never have less than ½ birth-right.
2. At no time may an individual purchase birth-rights that would result in that individual posessing more than ½ birth-right.
3. Though the market value of birth-rights will fluctuate, at any given instant the buying and selling rates will be equal.
4. Prospective parents that do not fit into the category of one fertile male and one fertile female can continue to obtain a child by all means which are available. In the event that other individuals are required to produce the child (sperm/egg donors, surrogate mothers, etc.) only the individuals who receive custody of the child must utilize their birth-rights.
5. No purchase of birth-rights may be made on credit and no individual or organization may provide a loan for the purpose of purchasing birth-rights.
6. No financial profit may be made from the buying or selling of birth-rights.

Result of this regulatory system: Since the global total number of birth-rights will always be equal to ¾ of the population, each generation will be at most ¾ that of it’s predecessor. If this system was implemented today, with an approximate population of six billion, our goal of 90% population reduction could be achieved in just eight generations. Generations on average are between 22 and 25 years in separation so the goal could be met in under two hundred years; significantly faster than the more than three hundred years it took to grow from 600 million to six billion.

With such a proposal, there will be endless objections and complications. I won’t thoroughly investigate every issue right now but would like to acknowledge some of those that are most obvious.

• Abortion rates are likely to increase. However, this could be countered by greater education about, and availability of, birth control. Both would become easier as population decreased.
• Special circumstances, such as the death of a young child, would require consideration. It would be both ethically and objectively prudent to refund birth-rights to the child’s parents. The difficulty comes in determining an age at which the refund is no longer issued.
• Enforcement is a big one. Standard law enforcement practices would actually be counter-productive regarding our goal of improved quality of life. Imprisoning or fining parents is just as much a punishment to the innocent child. A better guide might be the U.S. laws regarding the right to vote. Each citizen inherits this right but it is revoked if convicted of a felony. Since the birth-right system likewise grants privelages to all, those who violate regulations should have those privelages revoked. It is hardly sufficient to state that an offending parent may never again purchase additional birth-rights. They’ve already managed to reproduce without sufficient birth-rights once. Further action is required and although extreme, sterilization is the only truly effective method. Many may place this on the level of capitol punishment but sterilization for males is already a very simple, non-invasive procedure and in years to come, this could be the case for females as well. More importantly, this punishment succeeds in eliminating the possibility of repeat offenders; a major flaw that persists with imprisonment and citations.

The last issue I’d like to confront is the bias that exists at the core of this system. Since the ability to reproduce will be directly associated with wealth, population will tend to decrease most rapidly in poverty stricken areas. At a glance, this almost appears to be an extremely slow form of genocide, but without the horror of mass murders. And to an extent, that is what would happen. But again, if we focus on the objective, we’ll see that this is exactly the intent of the system. The root cause of poverty is resources. A community of people living in a desert may be able to survive for many generations, but they will never obtain a level of security that comes with relative ease elsewhere. If in reducing Earth’s population, that population is simultaneously re-dispersed to the lands which can best support us, then our objective will be met more quickly.

If this system were utilized continuously, after another eight generations population would be down to about 60 million. Considering humans’ inherent curiosity and desire for wide varieties of experience, there is likely a population level at which quality of life — as measured by ability to seek out pleasing experiences — would begin to decrease along with population. As this level is approached, the system can easily be altered to provide each individual with 1 initial birth-right, rather than ¾. With this change, population would virtually level-off.

As previously mentioned, I only touched on a few of the greater ethical and practical issues that would be associated with such a system. If you feel that I missed something crucial, or if everything you read hear left you infuriated, I want to hear about it. Please comment below.

Last weekend Anna and I, joined by a past co-worker of Anna’s, ventured South to Silver Falls State Park, Oregon’s largest state park. The area had come highly recommended by many and did not disappoint. Traveling along the ~8 mile loop named Trail of Ten Falls, we encountered what I’m pretty sure was more than ten thunderous and towering waterfalls, many of which occupy enormous amphitheaters allowing the trail to pass behind the plummeting torrents.

The size of the above falls is hard to grasp without reference. See Anna below:

Neat plant that looked a lot like celery:

If you enjoy waterfalls — even if it’s only due to the ionized-air induced euphoria — this trail is a must-hike.

On a recent family vacation I was discussing my great level of satisfaction with Portland’s bicycle accommodations. When others proclaimed their hometown’s similar qualities, I got a bit defensive. Looking back, I felt a bit ashamed at having succumb to that root-for-the-home-team aspect of human nature which I so greatly admonish in sporting spectatorship.

Today I found redemption as Portland has just been awarded the Platinum Level Bike-Friendly-Community designation by the League of American Bicyclists. Previously, only Davis, CA — a town of 65k people, covering an area which could be circumnavigated by bike in under a half hour — held such distinction.

News articles detailing the honor, went on to describe the major economic benefits to cities which accommodate cyclists. In addition to bicycle infrastructure generally consuming less than 1% of public transportation expenses, the money cyclists don’t spend on cars and gas is more likely to stay in the local economy. Traffic congestion decreases, air quality increases, public health improves.

In honor of Portland’s award (not really), Anna and I are reducing our number of cars by 50% and replacing that one car with a bike trailer. We’re also looking into replacing the remaining car with something featuring far greater fuel efficiency and lower insurance rates. Anyone got any reccommendations?

A little over a month ago I filed a complaint regarding a police officer who had parked diagonally across two parking spots which are reserved for disabled persons, blocking the spaces as well as a wheel chair ramp. I’ve since spoken with a couple other employees of the police deptartment regarding the issue and have learned that it is both legal and standard procedure to park in whichever space which will provide the quickest departure in the event of an emergency. Seems reasonable.

Today I came across an article stating that the police department is coming under fire for this very issue. It seems that many people are angered by on-duty police officers parking illegally when they’re just stopping in a restaurant to grab a bite to eat (the incident I witnessed also happened to take place at a restaurant but the officer was not there to eat).

But I have to say that I am with the PD on this one. They should park in whatever location will best allow them to do their jobs. What they should not do is abuse this right by parking across two spaces just because they can’t get a ticket.

Nearly two and a half years ago, long before I moved to Portland, I was in Hood River, OR for my sister’s wedding. During my time there a portion of my family, myself included, did a short tour of some vineyards along the route known as the Fruit Loop. A short ways into the trip, someone in the car pointed out a few mountain unicyclists they had spotted riding alongside the road. For those who are relatively uninformed, unicycling is a favorite past time of mine so it was with no small amount of interest that I watched as the rider’s darted off the road and onto a trail.

Time went on, people got married, I moved to Portland and was inducted into a local group known as the Unicycle Bastards. More time passed without pertinence. But then just last night, in a boredom-initiated bout of web-surfing, a series of cascading realizations was initiated and eventually led to the certain determination that the riders spotted outside of Hood River years ago, were indeed the very same Bastards I now ride with every week.

I would close with the entirely predictable “Small world.” but rational consideration (my favorite kind of consideration) reveals that Earth is really quite large. A similarly incomplete sentence such as “Atypical interest.” seems more appropriate.

After watching this movie I had to check IMDb to make sure the film wasn’t written or directed by M. Night Shyamalan or actually entitled Signs. On top of all it’s other faults, the movie had the exact same ending as Signs — and it was a stupid ending in both. Each closes by plugging in a promotion of faith in the Christian god but does so through extremely fictional circumstances and an in-your-face-proof of God’s existence. Faith is not faith if your god proves it’s existence to you.

Note to screen writer’s: Incredibly unbelievable coincidence is intriguing in real life. This does not carry over to fiction where coincidence is transparent. If in the end of the story, past events which seemed meaningless suddenly present their relevance, no one is going to be blown away. In fiction, coincidence in the plot is merely continuity in the writing, something every story should have.

One more thing: Why do the infected people have super human abilities?

I heard so many good reviews of this film. I give it a 5/10 for entertainment value and a 3/10 for general quality as a movie.

After a few games of unicycle hockey a couple years ago, in which I was definitely the LVP, I wasn’t too sure I would be fond of polo. And indeed, things didn’t begin well as the game literally started with my shin blocking a high speed shot of the rock-hard ball. Moments later I had a throbbing ‘goose-egg’ about the size of…well, a goose egg.

But the game continued and I quickly found myself having a blast. As one can imagine, polo on a unicycle is not particularly easy (though it’s got to be easier than polo on a horse) but the average skill level was high enough that there was a legitimate sense of sport rather than a bunch of guys riding around trying to hit a ball.

I’m hooked. If you want to watch or play, come to Alberta Park any Thursday at 6:30 pm. Shin-guards recommended if you’re going to play.

While out photographing my new bike yesterday, I took some time to capture a few shots of the many flowering things in the neighborhood. For the last month or so, it has felt like Spring…mostly. In the last few days weather has been fluctuating almost hourly among warm and sunny, rainy and windy, cold and rainy, sunny and hailing, etc.

I didn’t take the time to upload most of the photos yet but two inparticular presented an interesting idea. Each photo was of the same scene but with the focus at different distances. I mirrored one image and placed it next to the other. The result strikes me as something that would be used as a lame concept for some freshman art student’s final project. Be sure to look at the full size image because this small version doesn’t really show the varying focus points well.

Came across it yesterday on craigslist and a couple hours later, it was mine. It’s an older Raleigh Technium frame with otherwise new or new-ish components. It seems the standard thing to do here would be to list all of the component specs but I don’t really care about that and odds are, neither do you. Here are some pictures though:

Note the clipless pedals (although this term makes sense based on its origins — pedals which attach to your shoes without toe-clips — it’s an annoying current usage because pedals which seem to clip to you shoes are referred to as clipless) which also have a platform construction so I don’t have to wear bike shoes.

Apparently this saddle is pretty nice.

The appeal of a bike like this is the low weight which is partially a result of minimal componentry.

Doing away with deraillieurs leaves only two gearing options (unless of course you have an internal gear hub)…and this bike has both! The two options are single-speed free-wheel (much like on a BMX or most kids bikes) or fixed-gear (like on my unicycles). This duality is accomplished by whats called a flip-flop hub. Flipping between the two options just requires flopping the wheel around.

After a day’s riding on the fixed gear I’ve still got plenty of free-wheel habits that need to be broken before they get me into trouble.

Finally I’m not putting all my energy into overcoming friction with the ground. This ride is solid, smooth, fast and entirely silent.

…are fun to buy. Pictures coming soon.

Alright, to be fair, I was never that faithful to the sport in the first place. I went a few times as a kid and a couple times in college but then we were far more interested in trying helicopters off of one foot jumps than in covering any significant distance.

But inspired by Jenil’s recent purchase of XC gear, Anna and I rented some equipment from REI for the weekend (pretty good deal) and this morning celebrated the floating of Jesus’s ghost (as learned through Sunday-school videos) by doing an eight mile loop out by Trillium Lake. Despite the warm-ish but rainy, spring-like conditions in Portland, only an hour to the East we found heavy snowfall and a base of 8 feet featuring well-groomed trails. Amazingly, in our three hours out there, we only encountered other people in the last few minutes.

XC may replace alpine for me, mostly due to cost. A day-pass to any of the alpine resorts generally runs about $50/person while an annual Snow-Park pass costs $20 and covers everyone you can fit in one car.

As many of the women in my family can probably appreciate better than I, shopping for clothes as a smaller person can be difficult and frustrating. I historically have remedied this by hardly ever buying clothes. But now I have a job and income so I find it a little easier to pick up a few new things here and there.

But again and again I’m running into the problem of not being able to find clothes small enough for me. I understand that the population in general is getting fatter but it hardly seems logical to taylor athletic apparel solely for those who fall into the categorization of not-so-fit. In addition to clothing manufacturers, I feel partial blame falls upon basketball players. Only in basketball do the better players put form way, way ahead of function; tank-tops long enough to trip on and shorts that, if one concentrates enough, only fall off two or three times per game. I won’t even go into the hideousness of the shoes.

My opinions were set in stone yesterday when I finally found a shirt that fit me perfectly. Size: Boys Large

In a small town in Nevada, a third-grade class had a short story contest. The first place ribbon went to a girl named Christine for My Trip to Disney World and second place was awarded to Alex for Tyrannosaurus Rex and Me. With only two ribbons available, an honorary mention was given to Eric’s third place entry, Jumper.

…at least that’s how I’m guessing this movie came to be.

Friday night I joined a couple bastards for a muni ride known as the Night Security Patrol. I still haven’t heard a complete explanation for the title but apparently we were out there checking for terrorists or something. There is Forest Park, a massive green space in northwest Portland which is packed with miles and miles of trails. Due to a slight mix-up I ended up riding without a light which added a significant challenge. After an hour or so, our route brought us out of the hills and into the core of downtown Portland.

After a quick stop at a market — and a bit of grocery store isle unicycling — we made our way to the development studio of local cinematographer, Burk Webb. Burk had recently completed a short film featuring us bastards as unicycling zombies and it has been submitted to a bike-centric film festival in town. Our ride tonight had originated as a precursor to the premiere which took place at Burk’s. After the third or fourth viewing, hysteria subsided and we all settled in for Planet Terror, a sort-of-zombie flick. Pretty funny and cleverly produced.

Saturday began with Anna and I enjoying our weekly morning trail-run but then turned out to be an equally great uni-day as I spent a good chunk of the afternoon on the East Esplanade riding some trials. A group of phenomenal trials bicyclists showed up, putting my skills to shame…but they had handlebars, brakes and two wheels so my ego remained inflated. They seemed equally impressed with me and now I have a second group to ride trials with. I managed some of the most technical lines of my life during these couple hours so I went home quite satisfied but also entirely spent.

Anna and I got a slow start Sunday morning which was worsened by the realization of the daylight-savings time change. Heading North of town we set out hiking along the Warrior Rock Lighthouse Trail on the eastern shore of Sauvie Island. The clear skies offered expansive views encompassing Mts. Hood, Adams and St. Helens (second photo).

After three miles the trail ends at the Warrior Rock Lighthouse. St. Helens can be seen again in the background.

Arriving back home mid-afternoon, I quickly packed up my uni-gear and jumped back in the car. While on the return-hike, another couple of bastards had invited me to join them for a muni ride near Scappoose, a small town very near where we had been hiking. I was reluctant after such a full weekend but could not pass up the opportunity and as soon as we hit the trails I knew I had made the right choice. Scappoose is without doubt, my new favorite location for muni. Technical trails with numerous artificial features provide a perfect mix of challenge and ride-ability. The highlight of the ride was nailing the gap-drop shown below, just as a group of bikers came through to witness the feat (I didn’t actually jump back up it, it just looks funny in reverse).

So excited to be unicycling so often again.

I’m out to lunch the other day when a police car comes flying into the parking lot and parks at an angle directly in front of the main entrance. Though the lights weren’t flashing, I assumed something was up because the officer had parked across the only two disabled-parking spaces, effectively blocking them as well as the only wheelchair access ramp.

But then the officer casually climbs out of the car and strolls in to sit down with who I later gather is her daughter. They sit around chatting for the extent of my time there. As I’m walking out the door I am quite appalled by this whole situation so I decide that rather than be irritated all day, I’ll go and express my concern:

Me: Excuse me, that’s your car out front, right?

Officer: Yes.

M: Can I ask why you chose to park across both of the disabled-parking spaces?

O: I’m only going to be here a short time.

M: That’s hardly reason to do that. There are open spaces everywhere. And why would you park diagonally across two, blocking the wheelchair ramp?

O: Thank you for your opinion.

M: I have to assume that if another car was parked like that when you drove up, it would have received a large citation.

O: Thank you for caring.

M: I just think that it’s extremely inappropriate. Can you offer any explanation as to why you did that?

O: If you’ll excuse me, I’m having lunch with my daughter.

 

Turns out that expressing my dissatisfaction did not relieve my anger. I would call her actions an abuse of power but that doesn’t really apply since she did not benefit from them. She could have parked equally close to the door in a legal spot. I can only assume that she did it simply to feel powerful and above-the-law.

I wish I had had my camera to document what, in my opinion, should get her immediately relieved of her badge. Instead, I settled for her badge number which I used to file a formal complaint with a third party service.

A would-have-been-excellent afternoon of trials unicycling was canceled today when my car’s battery inexplicably turned up dead.

Though no logical relation exists, it may be reason enough to trade in for something with more acceptable fuel efficiency.

And while not on the relevant topic of unrelated events, Anna and I are going to Cirque du Soleil’s Corteo on Tuesday!

I could go into detail about the trail we rode today but instead I’m going to limit myself to one descriptive sentence and one picture:

Regardless of how warm and sunny it may be, do not attempt to go mountain unicycling in the mountains until Spring.

There has been much controversy lately over some practices of Comcast Inc., a major ISP. It was discovered that Comcast was limiting bandwidth allocated to very specific applications which are generally used by a minority of customers to exchange what are often very large amounts of data. Comcast rightfully claimed that if they did not do this, it would reduce general accessibility for a majority of customers. Comcast is being confronted on this issue as it violates the idea of net-neutrality but I feel like a more significant issue is being overlooked.

When I subscribed to Comcast, I agreed to pay a monthly rate in exchange for a specified quantity of bandwidth (something like 6 Mbps/768 Kbps). What Comcast is admitting here is that they cannot simultaneously provide all customers with the service they’ve sold. I see it as comparable to the equally-questionable airline practices of over-booking flights. They’re both selling a service which they can’t actually provide. Pretty sure this is referred to as fraud.

Granted, it would be nearly impossible for ISPs to guarantee such speeds for all customers. And doing so would likely increase the cost of service by an order of magnitude. What really needs to happen is for ISPs to offer a greater range of packages. A vast majority of subscribers never transfer significant amounts of data (emails containing the last 100 replys and some 640×480 images are not a lot of data). Such customers really are getting ripped off by the monthly fees they pay.

All that said, I am a subscriber who transfers quite a bit of data and a variety of subscription plans would likely leave me paying far more than I do now. So forget I brought this up.

As we’re still fairly new to Portland, Anna and I are often meeting many new people. And during such encounters it’s quite common for people to ask about interests and hobbies. I’m quickly learning to not bother mentioning my passion for hiking. Such a statement is often met with a response that most would have after hearing someone likes to eat a few times to each day. Apparently if you live in Portland, hiking is just an inherent part of your life.

And that’s great for us! Last night we decided we wanted to do a hike today and after a few minutes online, Anna had found an organization which leads over 1000 hikes/climbs each year. So this morning we showed up at the indicated meeting spot and were blown away by the number of people gathering. However, we quickly learned that the numbers were a result of at least four such organizations leading trips, meeting at the same time and in the same location.

The group we joined today is the Adventurous Young Mazamas (AYM) — a group that spawned off of the original Mazamas which generally attracts a much older crowd — and four of us set out to hike the eight mile Cape Horn Loop Trail on the Washington side of the Columbia River Gorge. Steep terrain took us along edges of towering cliffs, to exposed vistas where 40+ mph winds had us clinging to trees for safety and down near the river’s edge where numerous waterfalls fell onto or over the trail.

Feeling lazy so here are some photos sans narration.

Great hike. Highlight of the weekend.

I’d been meaning to watch this movie for some time now and am sort of glad to have gotten around to it last night. My favorite movies are often those that leave me needing to discuss the film or concepts presented with others. Typically this only occurs with documentaries, which this film is. But, last night I felt that this movie almost pushed me too far.

The film is broken into three parts. The first traces the origins of Christianity back to the zodiac calendar (astrology) as well as ancient Egyption theology. The undeniable facts about the alignments of stars in historical times, combined with the plausibly deniable — but extremely coincidental — interpretations of those alignments presented in the movie are extremely convincing. I had never heard of Christianity’s origins being traced this far back but it comes across as extremely likely. The overall point of part one is just that the Jesus allegory is simply another rendition of a mythical interpretation of the movement of the stars. This is nothing new but as I said, it’s presented in a very convincing manner.

As part two begins, it seems the movie has jumped off the tracks and landed on a whole new topic; the proposed conspiracy that now goes under the stupid name of 911. After a mountain of evidence is piled up, the claim is that the entire attack was not only foreseen, but also planned, by individuals in the Bush administration. The detailing of how the towers should not have collapsed — especially not as quickly as they did — and the evidence of previous tampering with the building’s steel structure really got me wondering. Part two goes on to describe how this tactic — feigning an attack in order to justify starting a war — is in no way novel to the U.S.

Part three really got to me. In our discussions about the reasons for our country remaining in a state that is unsatisfactory for a majority of it’s citizens, Anna and I have come to the conclusion that a very small number of individuals, who already have more money than they could possibly use, make decisions to benefit themselves, knowing full well that the repercussions will be undesirable for the majority. Obviously we aren’t the first to reach this end but after numerous discussions, we’ve found no other logical explanation. Details on that may come in another post. Back to the movie. Part three claimed that this elite group does exist and is primarily made up of those who own/run the world’s banks and the Federal Reserve. Very surprising to me was the fact that The Federal Reserve is simply the name of a private corporation and it is in no way ‘federal’ in the sense of being run by the government. An interesting associated point was that no law exists that says citizens must pay a federal income tax.

These three conspiracies are tied together in that they all deceive and manipulate the majority in order to obtain power and control for a tiny minority. If you know me, you know I fully agree with this being the purpose for the origin and continued growth of organized religion. The other two issues presented are still up in the air for me.

I’m recommending this movie to all; progressive and conservative, gullible and cynical, young and old (needed a third pairing). If you buy what the movie is selling, it will probably change your life (at least for a few days). If you think it’s deceitful, well organized propaganda…it’s still really entertaining, deceitful, well organized propaganda.

Edit: I thought I would include a link to the trailer but was only able to locate independently created trailers. However, while searching for it I found that the entire movie is hosted on the movie’s official website.

I previously mentioned the frustration experienced as I ran along the river gorge, being unable to bring a camera along to capture all of the amazing scenery. Furthermore, I rarely expended the time and energy necessary to access the truly spectacular vistas.

So the day after the big run, Anna and I hopped in the car (this turned out to be much easier than running) and drove out to see some of these sites as well as play a round of disc golf at Dabney State Park along the way.

As an experiment, I mounted my camera on my dashboard and took a low-frame-rate video of the journey. Compiling all the clips and playing them at 10x actual speed (~40x my running speed) still produced a semi-lengthy clip which sort of aids in conveying what 25 miles along the road actually looks like.

The clip is six minutes long — which is too long — but, running it any faster made it unbearably dizzying. It’s bad enough as it is. But this is only where the problems began. After uploading to GoogleVideo and YouTube, they both massacred the video, producing six minutes of a blurry mess. Facebook ended up retaining the greatest quality level so for those of you who have an account, here it is.

I’m going to try uploading directly to WordPress later on and if that turns out better I’ll update this so everyone can see it.

*If you’re curious as to why the camera pans away from the road occasionally, we were trying to capture Mt. Hood and the numerous Washington-side mountains, but after the quality reduction, all was lost.

…and in pretty good form too. Today’s run was to mark the 25th run in the five weeks since my birthday. I had originally tossed around the idea of a longer run but later dismissed it as pretty pointless.

But…while on my 24th run yesterday, a casual 4 miles, I began contemplating a unique opportunity. Sister Jennie had invited me to join her and visiting Aunt Mary for lunch out at Multnomah Falls Lodge in the Columbia River Gorge. I wasn’t sure just how far East this location was, but knew it wasn’t super far. When I got home I was a bit disappointed to find that it was actually close to 40 miles from our apartment. But then I noticed that if I started a little ways northeast — still technically in Portland — I could make a straight shot to the falls via the Historic Columbia River Scenic Byway, covering a much more reasonable distance.

So I told Jennie that I’d already be out that way and would just meet up with her and Mary at the falls. Having initiated plans to go unicycling with the bastards last night, I felt unable to back out — which certainly would have been a wise decision — and so, went on to do some pretty impressive trials riding with the astounding, 10+ riders who showed up. I did come home a little worried that I may have overdone it a bit.

With my support crew (Anna) dropping me off a specifically selected intersection, I began heading East around 7:30 this morning. The first 40% of the run was far from scenic but the road was flat and straight so I got it over with quickly. Along with the first bend in my route came a downward slope along a very high ledge paralleling the Sandy River. Crossing this river via the Stark St. Bridge put me right onto the scenic byway.

Having descended basically to sea-level, the next 20% consisted of a continual climb up to 1000 ft. Although long and slow, upon reaching the Portland Women’s Forum State Scenic Viewpoint — no idea what the name is all about — I was greatly rewarded with a view that is known to be the most photogenic point of the entire river gorge. And better yet, the remainder of the distance was generally downhill.

It was tough not having a camera along for this outing, passing one enormous waterfall after another and continually overlooking the river gorge, but obviously that would have complicated things and given my muscles plenty of opportunity to seize up on me. So with only a couple stops to dig some fuel out of my bag, the miles continued to pass and just as I was reaching my last paces, I came around a small bend and saw my goal.

Check out a map of the route here.

As an appropriate ending to the 25th Year Birthday Challenge, this 25th run was 25 miles (actually about 25.7 according to the GPS watch Jennie loaned me). The weather was great and the views were amazing. As soon as I can walk, I’ll have to get out that way again with my camera.

On a related note, somewhere in my long-winded detailing of the plans for this challenge, I mentioned that I had bought a scale and might like to lose five pounds along the way. I lost three in the first week but then tapered off and hovered around 145 for three weeks. But, just yesterday I found that I had lost the last two pounds, thus reaching yet another goal.

And with that, my birthday celebrations are complete.

Half way through yesterday’s run marked the 100th mile run as part of this brithday challenge. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a month already and that the goal is almost reached.

In this short time, the payoff has been significant. My increased fitness is quite noticeable, both visibly and functionally. Now I’ll just have to see if I can maintain this regimen without the motivation of a birthday challenge.

An unforeseen benefit of this pursuit is the excellent preparation for some upcoming challenges which very recently presented themselves. More to come on that issue later.

Yesterday I finally got out for a mountain unicycle ride with the Unicycle Bastards, with whom I’ve recently become affiliated. Four of us ventured out on the Wilson River Trail about an hour West of Portland. Weather was ideal but conditions were a bit on the snowy side. Otherwise it was a great ride. With so many committed unicyclists in the area, Portland is shaping up to be a great place to live. Check out some photos from the ride by clicking the following image…of me unicycling through a waterfall!

Also be annoyed by the endless repetition of the first animated GIF I’ve ever made:

Watched this last night and loved it. Excellent performance by Emile Hirsch; above and beyond the high bar set in Alpha Dog (also a great film). Though now that I know its such a good story, I rather wish I’d read the book first.

Next time I’m between jobs, don’t be surprised/worried if I go missing for a month or two.

…at three months I’d appreciate a search party.

You may already be thinking, “Jack…at least half of your blog is devoted to bragging.” If this is the case, you would be mistaken. In actuality, my life and the things I do are just that great.

But today, with no modesty whatsoever, I am bragging…about yesterday. As I was beginning the 3.7 mile loop I’ve been doing regularly, I decided to really push myself rather than just go for the same old run. Checking my pace at the approximate ¼ waypoint I realized that I was really making good time despite having had to stop and wait at an intersection which I can usually run straight through. Recognizing the potentially great sense of accomplishment that would come from finishing with my fastest time yet for this loop, I pushed even harder. By the half way point I was beyond anaerobic and really struggling to keep speed. The last mile may have been the hardest mile I’ve ever run. But, I finished and took a look at my watch. Having waited at three intersections for approximately one minute total, I finished the loop in 24 minutes and 15 seconds.

Ignoring the intersection delays that’s just over a 6:30/mile pace. Factoring in the intersection time it’s just over a 6.15/mile pace. This is all well and good. But, today I was sitting at work and it dawned on me that I had initially calculated the 3.7 mile distance by simply taking the time of my first run of the loop and comparing it to a rough guess at my pace.

So I jumped on GoogleMaps, suspecting that the loop would actually be significantly shorter and this would explain my speedy time. However, plugging in all the intersections produced a distance of 3.9 miles! This means that for nearly four miles I maintained an average pace of 5 minutes and 58 seconds per mile!

One interesting note about this sub-6-minute pace is that just last Thursday I had joked about how I might be able to accomplish a six minute mile by the end of this challenge.

Isn’t that the whole idea? In a competitive market, buyers will most often support the product with the highest value/$. Pretty sure I learned this in high school economics. Also learned back then that labor is a product. If two people are equally skilled and pursuing the same job, the one that demands a lower wage should typically be hired.  This all seems to make sense.

So why do politicians get paid so much when the job market is so small and there are always literal competitions to land each position? I mean, if the U.S. offered a salary of $1 for the position of president, I’m pretty sure people would still want the job.

And come to think of it, regarding truly powerful positions such as that of the president, why aren’t there laws in place that prevent the individual from acquiring any form of income during his service? Certainly the president should be provided with a comfortable living situation and all the basic necessities. But if the leader of our country was unable to benefit personally from any decision he should make, it would have to lead to a higher level of objectivity, wouldn’t it? Are there people/powers out there that prefer a leader who puts his own interests first?

I don’t claim to know the first thing about politics or economics — well I suppose I did just claim to know the first few things about economics, but you know what I mean — but there are plenty of people out there who do. Why aren’t the most intelligent people given the power, rather than those who can please an audience?

Recently it occurred to me that with my newly found income I should probably begin enhancing my life by adding/upgrading material possessions. Today I set a good pace with two such purchases.

The first item arrived early afternoon via FedEx and after some configuration and reorganization, alleviated some pressure which had been the source of moderate irritation for a few years now. As illustrated in the photo below, the Western Digital 500 GB external hard drive (lower left) turned what was previously six almost-all-blue pie charts into seven mostly-pink pie charts. If you’re not sure what this means, right click on one of your PC’s hard drives and select ‘Properties’.

The second purchase was somewhat impulsive. I found myself at REI with two gift certificates and a strong desire to use them. However, in regards to an outdoor-gear-arsenal, I’m already well equipped. So, unable to purchase something I need, I purchased a replacement for an item which currently left me wanting. Now, instead of hauling around a five+ lbs., bulky, overly-warm sleeping bag (left), I’ll be packing the REI Kilo Flash 40°F ultra-light bag (right). Thanks to Julie, Jennie and Warren for the gift certificates.

Time to start planning this year’s backpacking trip!

Today’s run was number 13 of 25 and aside from a continually sore knee as a result of overdoing it on run number one, I’m doing fine. Because of the slight knee discomfort, as well as the less-than-ideal weather and limited daylight after work, lately I haven’t been running quite the distances I had originally intended. However, I’m still averaging well over four miles/run and I plan on maintaining that.

It was especially crappy outside today, with cold rain and strong winds but apparently I’m getting my legs back because I shaved 40+ seconds/mile off of the pace I’ve been averaging.  If this acceleration continues (highly doubt it) I’ll be running six minutes miles by the end of this challenge!

If you read my last post you’ll know that I played a role in a film shoot this past weekend; a unicycling-zombie role. The very talented filmmaker has already produced a rough edit of the trailer he’s putting together for what will eventually be a nearly-feature-length film…or so I’m told. I’d love to provide a link to this clip because it’s really impressive but since this trailer is going to be entered into a film festival competition, I’m thinking I should keep it under wraps. If I know you and you want to see it, contact me and I’ll set you up. I suspect that once the final product is ready it will be made available online and I’ll be sure to let people know about it.

When I arrived home from work today I had received three copies of the Ship Harbor Yacht Charters Inc. 2008 Yacht Charters brochure. Filling the entire center page, which measures a full 8.5×11″ is this gorgeous photo taken by me on a sailing trip in Desolation Sound last August (the print looks a lot better than the digital image). Unfortunately, someone failed to print my photo-credit and I’ll certainly be taking that issue up with the company’s owner, who explicitly said that it would be included.

In year’s past I’ve juggled/unicycled/slacklined my way into a few publications here and there and I recall resulting comments about how that sort of thing happens when you live in a smaller town with no real news (La Crosse, WI/Olympia, WA). Well, now I’m in Portland, OR and I still got on TV. So now all you cynics can go ahead and admit that you were actually just jealous. Anyway, Oregon Public Broadcasting did a short special on the Reed College Juggling Club which I attend each week. They now put their shows online so you can watch it and me here:

Oregon Art Beat — Portland Juggling

Well, since you ask, I spent all day in the woods made up as a zombie by professional make-up artists, unicycling along trails while being filmed by a professional film crew. I’ll be sure to let you know when the results are available.

What did you do today?

Well actually we got worms. Almost 1000 of them. As we collect our food scraps, rather than throw them away, we are quickly realizing that we underestimated the number of worms we need. Shouldn’t be a problem though as the worms have this trick of turning into more worms when you feed them excessively.

Below is Eric. He is the best behaved and enjoys posing for photos. Pictures of the rest are coming soon.

I didn’t pull out my camera too often while in Wisconsin for the holidays and weddings but when I did, a couple shots turned out nicely. This first is taken in the parents backyard late at night but with a lengthy exposure. It would appear that a snowflake landed on the lens during the capture. The second photo was taken earlier that same night, looking across the school-yard.

If you read about my birthday challenge this morning, you’ll know I was heading out for a run today, the first in about a month. I had planned a loop of about six miles which felt somewhat ambitious but I had new running socks, a new running shirt and the weather was the best it’s been since we moved here.

Well it turns out that the trail I hoped to run along has no access points for a stretch of nearly four miles. This left me running for almost a half hour before I reached the trail, a half hour on the trail and not quite another half hour to get home. The run felt great and the blinding sun felt even greater but after more than 10 miles I’m fairly certain I’m going to be hurting tomorrow. Needing to run four of the next six days, I’ll have to recover quickly.

Two years ago I took up a tradition — recommended by friend, Travis Melin — of enduring one or more “birthday challenges” of either a physical or mental nature; or in most cases, both. My very first challenge was a unicycle ride of 23 miles which proved quite enjoyable. That same year I took on juggling, climbing and elemental endurance challenges as well.

Last year I didn’t fair as well. I attempted a juggling challenge of maintaining five-ball for 120 catches (24 x 5 balls = 120) but after an hour of frustration, I gave up. I also went on a 24 mile bike ride which really isn’t a significant challenge.

I failed to plan ahead for this year and when my birthday arrived I had nothing arranged. I’d already done the juggling thing and the unicycling thing and the bicycling thing. I had considered running 25 miles but having only run twice since moving to Portland, the aftermath of such a run — assuming I could complete it — would likely include permanent injuries.

I decided not to worry about it and instead this birthday’s theme was more one of over-indulgence. Friday night (technically pre-birthday), Anna and I went out for dinner at a little place called the Delta Cafe, featuring southern cuisine (I strongly